So I scoured the web today looking for any journalist, local or national, willing to legitimately take on this year's Heisman race. I was hoping that someone might have the testicular fortitude to take a look at the numbers and performances of the candidates who have been shoved down our collective throat. I was hoping somebody in the national press still watches football. Too bad.
In truth, the Heisman is the coolest stupid award in sports. The "serious football fan" scoffs at it's relevence outside of a massive marketing tool of the network, of course until their guy wins it; we beam with pride on that day. I would know, ask my black lab "Ward" or my golden retriever "Weinke." That brings me to the odds on name for my next dog (or child) "Ponder."
In my search I desperately wanted to see if any sort of "expert" would take the time to compare our boy Ponder to any of the conventional Heisman candidates. Truthfully, I was also in search of someone willing to give a legit take on Timmy T. The reality is that right now no one is willing to challenge the current groupthink and even if they were, it would in reality, be a relatively absurd conversation. Here's a quote from our boy Andrew Carter's blog as he gingerly attempts to make the audacious/blasphemous comparison between Tebow and Ponder,
"Tim Tebow is a great player. One of the best in the history of college football. But is Ponder having a greater season? More than halfway through college football’s regular season, it’s a fair question."
There must be vomit on Andrew's keyboard. There is absolutely no way he meant that. Reality is that it's not a fair question, Ponder is kicking Tebow's ass in every way possible this season. This is the basic problem with the whole conversation; who the hell even wants to hear how Ponder compares to Tebow and McCoy, it's not even close. Through mid season Ponder is on a completely different level than those guys.
So let's deconstruct for a moment. If ESPN blew up and we all had contracted 4 year amnesia from complications due to the H1N1 virus, how would we look at this thing. I'll give you my criteria and rankings, and I'd love to hear yours, because this will obviously be a substantially better conversation than anyone else is having regarding the subject right now.
1. The Most Outstanding Player in Collegiate Football (that's it for me)
My Top 10:
1. Mark Ingram
It's his in 2010. It's well documented that his defense is totally behind him 110% in his quest for greatness.
I hate this, but he's actually quite good in spite of being a total douche.
4. Case Keenum
5. Josh Nesbitt- Nobody will give this guy the time of day; aside from being completely awesome and the key cog in a beast of an offensive attack, he's nothing too special. My brother would calls him "da trooff." Dave Chapelle would call him "the balls."
6. C.J. Spiller
Did you see ESPN clock this guy at 28 mph on his kickoff return against Miami?! UN-F-ING BELIEVABLE! They used a speedometer on him...that's awesome!
7. Golden Tate
I cannot believe I put two Notre Dame players on my list.
9. Jahvid Best
10. Budd Thacker
Sorry, I couldn't resist...
I can't wait to hear from the greatest collection of football minds on the internet regarding this subject.
Should douche bags be eligible for the Heisman Memorial Trophy (Ex: Jimmy Clausen)?
Sure, it's a free country. (45 votes)
Absolutely not. (53 votes)
98 total votes