The Nickname Game
It's obvious that Coach Coley is on the very precipice of being a bonafide "man crush" for every single one of us. If he's not by now, I guarantee he will be. He's a man among boys, and the more I read about his superman lifestyle, the lazier and more full of crap I consider myself to be.
However, he needs a nickname. We began this conversation the other day, but it fizzled out. I'd like to revisit. I remember 2 good ones, which were James "The Hammer" Coley and "Java" Coley.
Personally, I'm loving the "The Hammer". However, it's obvious we have a creative bunch of readers here, and I say we pay tribute to this badass of a human with an even more badass nickname to begin his tenure of badassedness here at FSU.
SQUAAAAAAAAAAD UP!!!
Damn it feels good to be a Seminole.
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I personally like
James “The Pen” Coley
Never fails when getting the signature on the dotted line.
"Geno Hayes sucks though
He is one notch above Sabby Piscatelli
by Sveet on Dec 1, 2009 12:34 PM EST"
Expresso
a concentrated coffee beverage brewed by forcing hot water under pressure through finely ground coffee.
(shamelessly stolen from wikipedia)
I'm still a proponent of the hammer
Cause whatever he is doing he nails it.
So, simply, I propose that when we talk about Cooley we just simply call him “The Hammer”
As in, “The Hammer was in the 305 this weekend”
As in, “The Hammer nailed another recruiting trip for the Noles”
As in, “The Hammer nailed my gf last night, and I was cool with it”
And lastly, perhaps, “The Hammer seals the coffin on the Miami Hurricane’s season, calling a perfect game and making Miami’s defense look like a city morgue”
by Trus1te on Dec 6, 2009 8:44 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
My vote goes to "The Hammer" as well
The Pen and Espresso are good, but they require explanation. A good nickname needs no explanation and strikes fear into the heart’s of those who oppose you. Imagine:
Random Miami fan: “So who are you guys promoting to OC?”
FSU fan: “The Hammer”
Miami fan: “…Mother of God…”
by NoleFrenzy on Dec 6, 2009 9:26 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
I can picture the Cane fan staring off into the distance
like the protaganist in a bad disaster film.
"Your eyes can decieve you. Don't trust them." Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first sabermetrician...
by Curtain Jerker on Dec 6, 2009 10:47 PM EST up reply actions
I was thinking more along the lines of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHZcl2kgRho
As did I.
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."
"But How will I know limits from lies, if I never try."
by geoffissiffoeg on Dec 6, 2009 11:27 PM EST up reply actions
Hilarious
true story: My girl friend was talking about her late sister while I was reading this and i busted up laughing.
Needless to say It required some explaining. She was cool with it though shes an awesome chick and know about my obsession with this website and the noles.
The Spear
Cuz he hits ’em head on (spearing penalty)
He also drives FSU Fever straight through the hearts of those he touches.
Sharp like a spear.
Tweet from Thanksgiving “SPEAR a turkey today!”
Tweet a couple days later “If ur scared grab a SPEAR… we want more!!! we R calling on U – u hear me out there… FOLLOW ur heart, revive the SWAG – I’M COMIN 2 GET U”
Hmmm...I feel your vibe
But Cooley just hits me like a Hammer
Like…
The Hammer
Just ranting with a few random ideas...
-James “The Cooler” Coley
-James “Canine” Coley
-James “Can’t Isn’t In My Vocabulary” Coley
-James “Sell Ice To An Eskimo” Coley
-James “Can-Can” Coley
…eh. Its late.
I bleed Garnet and piss Gold.
Sorry
But hammer makes me think of MC Hammer (I’m probably older than most of you), which isn’t a good thought. Don’t have a good alternative though
My vote would be for 'The Hammer'.
And Trickett’s nickname can be ‘Nails’, as in “Tough as…”
Other suggestions: ‘Stonecold Coley’ and ‘Hurt Locker’
"The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me." - Steven Wright
Ha! Hurt Locker!
I’ve got a one eyed, de-clawed orange tabby that lives outdoors. Even in his hobbled condition, he STILL terrorizes every other cat in the neighborhood! We call him Hurt Locker after the cat in the movie! (It was a cameo.)
I like Hammer too. Just as it’s not JCole or J-Co or any other stupid abbreviated initial nickname. I hope that trend passes and nicknames get back to being original.
Also “Hammer” reminds me of my last girlfriend before I married. She wasn’t wife material but damn! I used to wear my cowboy boots to bed (for traction), and she would say “Ooh! You’re gonna drop the hammer, aren’t you!?”
http://s825.photobucket.com/albums/zz178/unclefestus/
I used to be called the hammer because I would keep a gold plated hammer on my desk.
I got it as a gift when I was the sales manager for 36 person sales force and I replace 20 of them in the first 6 months there.
>-----:----:------>Spear 'em then Scalp 'em
I bet those 20 still see that flashing gold hammer in their nightmares!
http://s825.photobucket.com/albums/zz178/unclefestus/
James "COLADA"
A colada is a 4 oz cup of straight Cuban coffee which comes with the shot sized portion cups for about 6 people.
I am sure this is what Coley buys when he is in the “305.”
>-----:----:------>Spear 'em then Scalp 'em
there is no way we could use CTC
because of Chuck the Clown. I would have flashbacks of red shoes and the funny CTC video from NCST.
Why is the sky blue? Because, God Loves the Infantry
I'm seeing alot of support for "The Hammer"
Now get out there and spread it on!!!
How 'bout if we just call him Ah-nold
as in the Terminator. Twiter Tweets sound like the Terminator :
RELOAD
about 8 hours ago from mobile web
If ur SCARED u should BE…. haha
3:07 PM Dec 5th from mobile web
who’s going to RUN this town? WE ARE… WE ARE this is NOLE Nation!!!!
2:55 PM Dec 5th from mobile web
"the hammer" and the 305....
“The Hammer” is going rebuild and tare down the old Orange Bowl in Little Havana…just for the hell of it. “AYYYYY Papi!!!!!!…here comes the Hammer AGAIN!!!”
El Martillo
Spanish word for Hammer. Combines his love of Cuban coffee with his pounding of all who dare defy him.
Some call him the Hammer
Others call him el Martillo
Pero no hombre can escape
Oh my GOD.
Well done. I am bowing before my computer in a sign of appreciation.
James “El Martillo” Coley
BOOSH
The Javanator
OK, I posted this elsewhere but thought it really resonated:
"Listen, and understand. That Javanator is out there. He can’t be bargained with. He can’t be reasoned with. He doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And he absolutely will not stop, ever, until you sign!"
http://s825.photobucket.com/albums/zz178/unclefestus/

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