Tomahawk Nation Exclusive: Tomorrow Night's Defensive Pregame Speech
by MattDNole on Apr 3, 2009 2:23 PM EDT
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PrintDon't ask me how I got my hands on this (does anyone have any Scope?) but I was able to get a copy of the script our defensive coaches plan on using to bring that extra special fire to the Spring Game tomorrow night.
Tommorrow night's speech is going to go down as one of the greatest of all time...
It might even top this one that stirred the hearts of Seminole fans everywhere last season.
I'll set the stage for you. It's 6:52pm tomorrow night and the offense and defense have gathered on opposing sidelines for some last minute instructions before the biggest war Doak Campbell Stadium has ever seen in the month of April. Mickey gathers his troops together for a few final words of wisdom...
Mickey: chew chew chew spit Play hard. spit chew spit We're going to put you in positions to make plays because we are so good. Our gameplan is flawless. We put you on the field, and you make plays. We can't lose with that strategy. spit So why have we been getting beat so bad in these practices? Because you're just not making the plays.
Chuck: PREACH!!
Mickey: cuss spit chew spit Ok look at this white board. See how there's 11 Os and 11 Xs? Well, the 11 Os are the offense and you are the 11 Xs. We've put one X on the board for every O. It's perfect!! Now you just need to go make plays. spit
Chuck: You guys have got to play with intensity out there. Nigel... PUT DOWN THE SANDWICH!!
Beast Mode: But I'm so hungry, coach. I mean, Sally Struthers just showed up and tried to give me a dollar. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS!!
Mickey: You mean recruits these days don't understand references from the early 1980s? Weird. Anyway, Chucky Sweet-Boobs over here is right. You need some intensity. You lollygag after running backs who gash us for 80 yards, you lollygag after wide open receivers, you lollygag off the field after the offense scores another touchdown. You know what that makes you?
Odell: Coach, I'm pretty sure none of our guys are familiar with the movie Bull Durham.
Mickey: cuss What?! You don't say. spit spit chew Well I thought it was a good movie. Woulda been better if Hedy Lamarr had been in it though, that dame was a real looker.
Beast Mode: We don't know who that is either, Coach.
Mickey: Son of a.... Well I guess that explains why you boys aren't grasping our defensive principles yet. We've done all we can do, boys. Chucky watched over 17 thousand hours of film from the last two practices... Chuck I've been meaning to ask you, those practices were only three hours apiece...
Chuck: Umm... I watched them a lot of times. I totally didn't go shopping.
Mickey: Nevermind that. Jody has been working so hard... look at him... he's fallen asleep. So peaceful... Be quiet boys, Jody's tired. We wouldn't want to WAKE HIM UP TO DO HIS FREAKING JOB. spit
Jody: zzzzzz........ Wha? I'm here! I'm coaching! Watch me coach. Hey defensive ends.... I want you to go out there and.... errr...umm.... defend the end.
Odell: That's what she said.
Mickey: What who said? Mae West sure could throw out some great one-liners in her day... and that Katherine Hepburn was a firecracker. Anyway, here's what we're gonna do. When the offense is throwing it, I want you to go out there and stop them from throwing it. When they are running it, stop them from running it. When you're getting blocked, you have to make your man stop blocking you. And when you see that they are running something with more than 2 wide receivers and most of their players are wide open, you have to be faster than what you normally are.
Chuck: It's as simple as that.
Mickey: Simple as that. chew spit cuss Alright Thacker, get in here and do your thing.
Budd: ON YOUR FEET!!! Hands in the circle, guys. Our new motto on three.
Defense: 1-2-3 Don't get embarrassed!
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I'd been a bit off with them lately.
Needed to get back to what made the originals good: Mocking Chuck Amato and Mickey Andrews
I love BB...
and I wish he could coach forever. However, this thing with him & Paterno is getting ridiculous. Plus, I’m a big proponent of Florida enacting a law that would require anyone over 70 to take a driving test every 2 years. Therefore, it would be hypocritical of me to think it’s ok for someone to coach a major college football program when that same person can no longer see over the steering wheel.
Maybe they could enact a law requiring coaches over 70 and paid by the state to take a multiple choice coaching test. Here’s a sample question:
A wide receiver:
A) catches the ball
B) is the largest player on the field
C) falls asleep in a McDonald’s parking lot
D) must be named Peter Warrick
It feels forced
imho :)
"May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't." - General George S. Patton
Wow, that was terrible
Referring to Bobby’s speach.
That’ll sure get the guys fired up… bleh.
http://today.sportingnews.com/sportingnewstoday/20081229/?pg=2
That video
makes me want to throw up.
And Chuck looks like a little princess with his hands folded like that.
I'm still befuddled by this video... too much to laugh at Matt's satire...
[and it seems to be a gem, considering it discusses clown amato watching tape and shopping]
I transcribed what he said… which I guess looked like the notes his secretary typed on her IBM selectric. And… I knew coach was out of touch with day-to-day business, but motivational speeches are somewhat timeless. Wow…
Defense, play with a lot of confidence; play with enthusiasm and togetherness
BC comes to our house to take away what you and I want- they come right down here to our house to take it away, you know. So you’re out there with a… gotta fight…you know, gotta fight and I know you will. It it it’ll I know you’re gonna fight tonight; it’s gonna be execution… execution. Quarterbacks making good handoffs, backs taking protecting the ball, receivers catching the ball- not worried about where they’re gonna run and not worried about who’s coming- just making the darn good catch like you’re capable of doing…
Whose…who…somebody…some of you gonna get opportunities tonight like we mentioned last night- some of you gonna get an opportunity to show the nation what you can do. Boy you can’t ask for better than that can you?
Transcriptions = bad news for anyone.
I’ve read a lot of transcripts and they’re never pretty.
FWIW
Coach Bowden was supposedly asleep up until 10 minutes before that video was shot. The BC game was at night and he was napping (mind you, he’s old and has to stay up to do the show with Gene and post game interviews, etc.) Someone forgot to wake him up on time.
I’m not even 30 yet, and I don’t think I could give a pregame speech worth a crap 10 minutes after waking up.
"May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't." - General George S. Patton
Can we hide this post so that only members in good standing can read it?
Wow. I mean at the nap… not at NoleCC.
You're a little disturbed Un
Period. ;-)
I never said I was cool with it, btw, just that those are the facts as presented to me when that YouTube first debuted a while back.
"May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't." - General George S. Patton
I could sleep through a tornado without stirring a bit.
Kill a fly with an axe - Mickey Andrews, his 1998 playbook
You know what BC wanted to take away? Right from our house?
Nap time. Yeah. Nap time, and the red & blue napping mats, and even Coach’s pillow.
Those jerks from Boston wanna come right down here to Tallahassee and strip YOU and ME and EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM of our NAP-TIME!
Gentlemen… I think you all love your naptime. You love the trifold red and blue mat. I know I cherish mine. You worked hard all summer for naptime. You busted your rears back in February on those mats, earning the opportunity to someday…someday… just take a nap on them.
AND THESE GUYS WANT IT. They want to show ESPN and Sports Illustrated and E-Bay and Email that they OWN YOUR NAPTIME!
But, remember…. those mats are covered in your sweat and your tears…. you earned them. Now… go defend them.
Let’s bring it in…. ON THREE… NAP-TIME!!
Dude, I love naps.
I wish my work allowed me to take naps before an important speech… and that I was paid $2.5 mil for that matter.
I believe
if that’s what BC was actually coming to take, Bobby probably would’ve made a better speech.
Great job, Matt.
If I can somehow shoot a one-minute video clip on my POS camera of Mickey/Chuck motivating the Gold squad to victory tomorrow night, I’ll deliver to TN. Don’t expect anything as inspiring as MattD’s speech though. I’m just impressed Mickey’s using a whiteboard now and not drawing with a stick in the dirt at Doak Campbell.
Wow
Matt that was good hands down. The sad thing is I could see MA doing something like this. Chew Spit Chew nice. Love how you use Beast mode & Budd
Why is the sky blue? Because, God Loves the Infantry
That speech explains why we lost to BC.
and here I thought it was poor defense all this time…
Unbelievable...
Couldn’t stop laughing at the Mikey speech. Nobody here would be suprised if they found out that that was any actual Mikey/Chuck speech…
But if that video wasn’t posted and Matt only transcribed the BB speech I would laugh and say… yeah but that wouldnt be the real Bobby speech… He may be old and out dated, but he knows how to inspire and he can get them fired up…
I am depressed by that video. Is any football player anywhere, even pop warner supposed to do anything other than feel sorry for him?
do players and coaches read/join TN
Or do they not care what we think. I was just wondering. I know its not all that importen
Why is the sky blue? Because, God Loves the Infantry
ugh
We make fun of ourselves worse that Gator fans.
"Love will come to save us, if we’ll only call, He will ask nothing from us, but demand we’ll give our all...Love is a shelter in a raging storm; Love is a peace in a middle of a war, and if we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door."
Honestly though... taking another thought at it
I can fully appreciate your need to vent.
"Love will come to save us, if we’ll only call, He will ask nothing from us, but demand we’ll give our all...Love is a shelter in a raging storm; Love is a peace in a middle of a war, and if we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door."
Fisher says he is going to throw the football
http://seminoles.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/040309aac.html
He says he is not holding back and is going to put in all the plays and people here are going to catch it or he will bring in somebody who can. Good philosophy LOL!
Defensive back Chad Colley had a break up. I have never heard of him. Geyres had another diving catch and Stevens broke through for a sack on situational. This Stevens seems to want to play some football.
The offense started fast again Ponder hit Givens three times. I hope that continues in games because last year you could never say our offense started fast to put people away.
you know what good for Jimbo
After what MA did last year in the spring game just thrashing the offence last year. He need to send a message to MA, BB and the boosters hes here for BB job and hes no going away. Also if the school keeps letting BB back for one more year he’ll take RT and bounce to another school that will treat him right.
Why is the sky blue? Because, God Loves the Infantry
Colley
He’s a DB from Gulf Breeze (which is good on him since they don’t have much of a football program … not much of a good one at least). He’s a little small weight wise (6’1" – 161 lbs.). Barring a number change he’ll be wearing #10.
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."
"But How will I know limits from lies, if I never try."
by geoffissiffoeg on Apr 3, 2009 7:27 PM EDT up reply actions
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