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Around SBN: The Amateur Mathematics Of Linsanity

An Open Letter to FSU Administration, Coaches, and Players

To Whom it May Concern,

If any of you have read the site in the past few months, you know I am typically the writer for the site that likes to take shots (hopefully humorous shots) at those in charge of leading our athletic programs.  TK Wetherell, Randy Spetman, Bobby Bowden, et al have been the focus of many of pseudo-comical rants.  In the Matt Dunham Fanpost this week, I even began to take a few shots at our underperforming players.  I have come to accept my role as Tomahawk Nation's court jester and I wear the title proudly.  However, today there has been a story in the news cycle that has stirred me to take off my comedian's hat and write this letter in the hopes of giving you some serious advice.

I direct you to the following news story.

Star-divide

This afternoon I spent the day at home watching some ESPN.  Know what was on Jim Rome is Burning, Around the Horn, Pardon the Interruption, AND Sportscenter tonight?  That story.  It's everywhere.  There is a lot of negative attention on college sports right now.  Consequently, I feel it is incumbent upon me to deliver you the following message....

KEEP YOUR FREAKING NOSES CLEAN!!!

Good gosh.  Finally, someone ELSE is in the news for screwing up.  We need to let this thing run its course and not bring attention to ourselves.

Wide Receivers- I swear to all that is holy that if a single one of you screws up in the next few days I will write an article advocating that we cut all of you and move Justin Bright to WR to be the focus of our passing game next year.  I'm not even playing right now.  DO NOT SCREW UP.

TK-  I don't want to hear your voice on a sports-related issue for the next month.  I don't care if you have an opinion on what the NCAA should do.  Shut the freak up.  Lay low.  Go hunting or something.

Randy- We need you to keep an eye on TK.  We know that you can't really control him as you don't have any REAL authority, but seriously man.... stay out of the news.

Bobby- I don't care what you feel like you're entitled to.  If any quotes come out of this Death Tour you're taking right now aside from stupid jokes and stories about playing golf with boosters I swear I will paint your statue pink.

Look guys, we have a rare opportunity right now.  SOMEBODY ELSE is getting all of the negative attention.  Let me make this perfectly clear....

LET

THEM

HAVE

IT

Operation "Let USC Be the Bad Guys and Don't Get in Trouble" Summer 2009 has just begun.  SQUAD UP!!!

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Thank you Matt

If needed I can do some undercover opes or you. Im good at that stuff. I have your back man. FSU needs to stay low and out of site. play the rebuilding card or going on vecation whatever. This is so true. 110% Thank you USC W-Coast.

Why is the sky blue? Because, God Loves the Infantry

by Desman on May 13, 2009 7:59 PM EDT reply actions  

What's the O.J. Mayo thought process?

“Hmmmm….I’m really torn between schools right now. It’s gonna take something very subtle to sway me towards signing a Letter of Intent. Perhaps playing some Guitar Hero on my buddy’s new 37” 1080p LCD will be the deciding factor…..If only he could acquire said television that’s obviously out of his price range….hmmmmmm"

by The K-Man on May 13, 2009 8:04 PM EDT reply actions  

USC is in very big trouble. They have stuff on the football program too. Mayo is only the beginning.

Resident Josh Freeman fan.

by gahnki on May 13, 2009 8:22 PM EDT reply actions  

Hmmmm.... so does this mean

“the future will still be Bright,” when this happens:

 we cut all of you and move Justin Bright to WR to be the focus of our passing game next year.

Maybe the creative writers at WC will laud the promise of young Justin and skip over mentioning the dismissal of the scholarship WRs.

Anyway, with the ongoing saga between Meyer and Kiffen, its a good opportunity to keep the SE college football writers focused elsewhere.

by coonhound on May 13, 2009 8:34 PM EDT reply actions  

That was my first thought too, MattD.

Dear Lord it was refreshing to finally see this USC fiasco surface. The basketball program is for sure going down. The NCAA will have to go hard after them with the OTL piece. The football program can get away with it if everyone continues to keep quiet.

Just wants to beat the Gators

by DA-2 on May 13, 2009 8:39 PM EDT reply actions  

They combined the investigations. The athletic department as a whole is in deep, deep trouble.

Resident Josh Freeman fan.

by gahnki on May 14, 2009 8:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

Are you serious? This won’t last. It will be the headline for a few more days MAYBE and then nothing will come of it. Look at what happened with Reggie Bush and all his crap, oh wait, nothing really came of it and the “media” still adored USC. As long as USC and FU get wins, their off-field actions can be whatever, whenever and the media will still put them atop their pedestal (and the rankings…)

by thirdcoastnole on May 13, 2009 8:41 PM EDT reply actions  

Im not so sure about that.

I think UCLA and the rest of the pac-10 are done with USC running things and are going to drag this out to the max. At least I hope so.

Why is the sky blue? Because, God Loves the Infantry

by Desman on May 13, 2009 9:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

You’re more than the court Jester

But I really liked this:

Bobby- I don’t care what you feel like you’re entitled to. If any quotes come out of this Death Tour you’re taking right now aside from stupid jokes and stories about playing golf with boosters I swear I will paint your statue pink.

Every time he speaks he draws more attention to the black eye on our program.

by Bud Elliott on May 13, 2009 11:03 PM EDT reply actions  

Honestly, and I guess this is why I’m not a FB corch, but at the conclusion of spring we’d have had one final team meeting wherein te law would have been laid down. The upshot would have been: Show some #&($%&% honor and dignity, be proud of what you are fortunate enough to partake in,do not bring anymore dishonor to this univesity and this progra. I don’t care if you are a walk-on or the starting QB if you end up on a police blotter this summer don’t bother coming back to Tally except to pack up your schitt. Simple a that.

Sadly though we are going to remain a program that is somewhat adrift so long as BB remains at the helm. This season must be his last, we can’t afford this charade anymore.

Ameica, Land of the free and home to the entitled.

by levynole on May 14, 2009 10:22 AM EDT reply actions  

MattD, I think you said what many of us thought, and what we think when we hear

about players arrested at Marshall, Syracuse, Pitt, Idaho, Penn State, and of course my favorite, at the University of Felons. It also the same thing we think when we hear of players dismissed from UGA, So. Carolina, Alabama, etc., etc., etc.

I firmly believe that now the NCAA is going to be pressured to take some action on the still open, swept under the rug, accusations against Reggie Bush, and this will be welcomed by most of us tired of living under the microscope and in the headlines.

But getting back to your Open Letter, let’s hope somebody, somewhere listens to your recommendations.

by FrankDNole on May 14, 2009 3:34 PM EDT reply actions  

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