To Whom it May Concern,
If any of you have read the site in the past few months, you know I am typically the writer for the site that likes to take shots (hopefully humorous shots) at those in charge of leading our athletic programs. TK Wetherell, Randy Spetman, Bobby Bowden, et al have been the focus of many of pseudo-comical rants. In the Matt Dunham Fanpost this week, I even began to take a few shots at our underperforming players. I have come to accept my role as Tomahawk Nation's court jester and I wear the title proudly. However, today there has been a story in the news cycle that has stirred me to take off my comedian's hat and write this letter in the hopes of giving you some serious advice.
I direct you to the following news story.
This afternoon I spent the day at home watching some ESPN. Know what was on Jim Rome is Burning, Around the Horn, Pardon the Interruption, AND Sportscenter tonight? That story. It's everywhere. There is a lot of negative attention on college sports right now. Consequently, I feel it is incumbent upon me to deliver you the following message....
KEEP YOUR FREAKING NOSES CLEAN!!!
Good gosh. Finally, someone ELSE is in the news for screwing up. We need to let this thing run its course and not bring attention to ourselves.
Wide Receivers- I swear to all that is holy that if a single one of you screws up in the next few days I will write an article advocating that we cut all of you and move Justin Bright to WR to be the focus of our passing game next year. I'm not even playing right now. DO NOT SCREW UP.
TK- I don't want to hear your voice on a sports-related issue for the next month. I don't care if you have an opinion on what the NCAA should do. Shut the freak up. Lay low. Go hunting or something.
Randy- We need you to keep an eye on TK. We know that you can't really control him as you don't have any REAL authority, but seriously man.... stay out of the news.
Bobby- I don't care what you feel like you're entitled to. If any quotes come out of this Death Tour you're taking right now aside from stupid jokes and stories about playing golf with boosters I swear I will paint your statue pink.
Look guys, we have a rare opportunity right now. SOMEBODY ELSE is getting all of the negative attention. Let me make this perfectly clear....
Operation "Let USC Be the Bad Guys and Don't Get in Trouble" Summer 2009 has just begun. SQUAD UP!!!