FanShot

Dustin Hopkins doesn't sleep. He Waits.

-Dustin Hopkins once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. -Dustin Hopkins is only person in world history to be banned from UEFA, English Premier, MLS, Bundesliga, and Le League…FOR LIFE. -If you can see Dustin Hopkins, he can see you. If you can't see Dustin Hopkins you may be only seconds away from a roundhouse kick of death. -Dustin Hopkins' roundhouse kick and Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick accidently collided on Atlantis. THAT'S what happened to that continent. -What was going through the minds of Dustin Hopkins' victims before they died? His golden shoe. -Tim Tebow was actually an atheist. Then Dustin Hopkins roundhouse kicked some sense into him. He has not been the same since. - Dustin Hopkins is actually Sebastian Janokowski from an alternate time dimension who lost about 120 pounds, got on Rogain, and arrived in the future to win the Groza Award on TWO National Championship teams from the same school. -Dustin Hopkins once got into a fight when he was 5 years old. He tried everything to avoid the confrontation, but eventually was forced to fight the kid. When the kid was on the ground, Dustin stomped his face once as hard as he possible could. The hole still exists today. We call it: The Grand Canyon.

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