Jumbo Athlete Amos Lapp Commits to the Florida State Seminoles
The Noles may have got a head start on the 2011 recruiting class, but apparently they weren't quite done with the 2010 class just yet. Today they picked up a commitment from Amos Lapp, a 6'3'' 305 pound jumbo athlete from Berlin, Ohio. You're gonna have to bare with us on this one, because this commitment comes from completely out of the blue. We're told he plays guard and defensive tackle for his local team. Lapp will enroll this summer and join the team in the fall.
Very little, if any, film exists on this kid. Apparently he visited Tallahassee during his traditional rumspringa and enjoyed the campus. During a chance meeting with Florida State offensive line coach Rick Trickett, the coach was apparently impressed with his work ethic and offered him a scholarship to play football. We have to confess, an unrated white guy that no one's ever heard of is exactly the type of player Trickett always seems to find.
We're having a difficult time finding any information on this kid, so we don't know what kind of 40 he runs. We've heard stories that while on his visit in late December he beat Budd Thacker in a bench press competition, so he clearly has some upper body strength and could potentially contribute on the defensive or offensive line right away. His combination of strength and size, combined with some of the rumors we've heard about his mean streak on the field could potentially turn this kid into a monster on the gridiron.
Communication with Lapp has proven to be difficult as you might expect, but it is compounded by the fact that he only speaks an old German dialect. The Noles might have signed Bjoern Werner last cycle merely to be Lapp's interpreter.
There are some qualification concerns, as Lapp has never taken a standardized test nor attended a regular school. However he has allegedly memorized the entire Old Testament, so we're quite confident he can reach the necessary test score.
This addition makes it more likely that a player like Cameron Irving will redshirt this season. It additionally adjusts the number of players Florida State can take in the 2011 class without major attrition.
The Tomahawk Nation Depth Chart has been updated to reflect this commitment.
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Hmmmmm
An unheard of offensive lineman named Amos Lapp who speaks with a German dialect and memorized the Old Testament. I haven’t forgotten what day it is…rolls eyes……
"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time." - Vince Lombardi
agreed
not that MattD is ever less than serious with his posts…
by DownByTheRiverWalkinOnWater on Apr 1, 2010 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions
Welcome Amos!
It’s about time we started an Amish pipeline. My only question is whether he will have to get a special chinstrap with hooks and eyes – I think that his people consider snaps to be too ’proud."
+1 You guys should see the Penn State message boards...
They are PISSED about this one. Evidently JoePa’s been on this guy since he was 4
by Randall W. Spetman on Apr 1, 2010 2:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Can you post link?
I never go to other boards, but my dislike for PSU and intrigue with this one tips the scales..
This is great news for the Noles, I am really excited that we are still trying to improve our 2010 class.
This just show that Jimbo knows what he is doing and if I can say without a doubt that we will be undefeated heading into the UF game in Tally and I guarantee that we will beat the Gators and play for the NC this year, especially now that we have added Amos.
Old, slow, and dangerous, but still serving a purpose.
>-----:----:------>Spear 'em then Scalp 'em
Absolutely!
If we can keep adding quality guys to our 2010 class for the next couple of years it could be really special.
Team Gold!
Plus Amos will be able to build fireplaces for the dorms.
Welcome to FSU Amos.
Old, slow, and dangerous, but still serving a purpose.
>-----:----:------>Spear 'em then Scalp 'em
by FrankDNole on Apr 1, 2010 12:10 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Electric Fireplaces non-the-less
Makes me scratch my head
Yeah, I always found that ironic.
Old, slow, and dangerous, but still serving a purpose.
>-----:----:------>Spear 'em then Scalp 'em
Dont get too excited guys...
I heard Urban is on his way to Ohio now to tell the family of his dream that he had in which he helped the family raise a barn.
Raise a barn...
or raze a barn? If UMey were involved in a barn razing, he’d have to bring some current UF players for the trip, which I think is a big time recruiting violation….
If he was acually going to raise a barn for them, he could just ask Timmah to perform a miracle.
Ha
Yeah, that too. Im low on sleep, the newborn baby has days and nights mixed up.
But as long as the family doesnt speak ill of timmah’s miracles, this could seal the deal.
The Berlin Pipeline
And so it begins…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb5X4-vS_lc
"I got a PBS mind in an MTV world"...Jimmy Buffett
by The Ryno and I Know on Apr 1, 2010 12:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Oops
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeybDjUhsDU
"I got a PBS mind in an MTV world"...Jimmy Buffett
by The Ryno and I Know on Apr 1, 2010 12:23 PM EDT up reply actions
"The team that raises their side first...
…gets the little heffer!".
Ha!
That should be on the Garnet versus Gold Team Draft post.
Fear the Spear!
April Fools?!
"I got a PBS mind in an MTV world"...Jimmy Buffett
by The Ryno and I Know on Apr 1, 2010 12:14 PM EDT reply actions
Oh yes, I see now
It is April, and I am indeed a fool….carry on.
"I got a PBS mind in an MTV world"...Jimmy Buffett
by The Ryno and I Know on Apr 1, 2010 12:16 PM EDT up reply actions
i hear he's a wicked bowler too
‘we don’t have a cow; we have a bull though’
by 000111 on Apr 1, 2010 12:15 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I have to admit ...
… this is pretty damn original. Amish? That’s hysterical!
A Texan humbles himself before God; there the list ends. - Gen. S. Houston
His brother Ishmael is a even better athlete.
Old, slow, and dangerous, but still serving a purpose.
>-----:----:------>Spear 'em then Scalp 'em
Supposedly his uncle Gideon ran a laser timed 4.4 on the farm.
......and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
Ishmael is not eligible
He’s currently being shunned because his mom found a copy of Amish Hotties magazine under his mattress.
Sheriff Branford: The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.
Buford T. Justice: The god damn Germans got nothin' to do with it!
What a hypocrite!
From what i understand, and the elders may try to conceal this, but she allegedly was the centerfold in the the July ’93 edition of"19th century Milkers monthly"
......and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
Good quote, but top this one.
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
The proper reply...
God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar wh**e!
Sheriff Branford: The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.
Buford T. Justice: The god damn Germans got nothin' to do with it!
They play 15 yds for a first down as well
CP7: Sliding is teh weak sauce
by stevegrizzle on Apr 1, 2010 2:53 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Hahaha
Rumspringa?
More like April fools. I see you tomahawk nation. Keep it coming.
by FLpanhandler on Apr 1, 2010 12:17 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
C'mon brother.
Don’t be that guy.
by Randall W. Spetman on Apr 1, 2010 2:15 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I was thinking it was off-topic Friday for minute
Probably because I took off tomorrow.
2010 ~ The Year of the Spear
Is Amos a two sport athlete?
We sure could use him this weekend as our Noles baseball tewm endeavors to lick “Virgina Tech”… [See second article on TN homepage]
Its about time...
…that we made some inroads into the fertile recruiting hotbed that is Pennsylvania Dutch country…
Dot Com will have the exclusive interview...
…as soon as they can find a translator. Premium content of course.
Wow
This is some good stuff. I hear that there having problems getting him enrolled because he doesn’t want any electricity in his dorm and their having trouble finding him a roommate.
FUN
THIS KIND OF STUFF IS WHAT MAKES THIS SITE GREAT.
He's very under the radar...
…and by “radar” I mean poking a bat with a pencil and listening for the echo….
This no joke! You just have the last name wrong!
His real name is Amos Brasky….. and he showers in vodka
As long as he doesn't hustle preachers w/ Bill Murray he'll do fine.
......and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
As the FSU cheerleader said to the FU cheerleader
Just because you spend half your life in the missionary position….it does not make you a missionary.
Using that logic......
It’s unsure whether or not they’re half-missionary, half-canine.
......and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
by Scalpemall on Apr 1, 2010 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
YYEEEEAAAHHHHH BBBBOOOOYYYYY!
OK , i know that’s very annoying, but, this may be my 2nd happiest day ever!
If this must be deleted i’ll understand, just felt the need to express my joy over 1st rec’d post.
......and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
I heard
He is not allowed anywhere near the film room. WAY too high tech in there. Instead fisher and co have to carry an etch a sketch to show him the types of plays they want to run. I am told it is frustrating at times and the development of carpal tunnel syndrome is inevitable but in the end it is worth it to keep him on the team.
Not an alcoholic, just an FSU grad.
The title says Jumbo Athlete, but the story says he plays on the line
confusing post is confusing
365 days, until I change my ways.
I would just like to reaffirm my undying love for you, sir.
Because this post was the first time I smiled today after going home sick from work 4 hrs ago.
Rec’d.
2010 ~ The Year of the Spear
Welcome Amos!
The measurables are definitely there. The only issue is that he is morally opposed to watching game film – or film of any kind.
by TonySopraNOLE on Apr 1, 2010 1:40 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Had me going, but
Lapp is not an Amish name. I grew up in the county right above Berlin.
Now, if you had said Yoder or Herschberger or Hochstetter…
Tell our enemies: "Justice is coming."
Tis a Mennonite name though.
"I am the way, the truth, and the life...no one gets to the Father but through Me"
Wow....you had me there for about one minute
then I actually saw the date on the calendar….Nice one Matt
SI.com Thinks this is a real story
Haha…. Sports Illustrated just got pwned.
Pop goes the weezle, cause the weezle goes POP!
Yeah, I saw that. Looks like TN owns SI.com anyway judging from the links.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/teams/florida-state-seminoles/
Old, slow, and dangerous, but still serving a purpose.
>-----:----:------>Spear 'em then Scalp 'em
swollious, belated welcome to TN and thanks for posting.
Here are a couple of links you may want to check out when you have some time.
A) Welcome to TN Guide
2) The Did You Know Guide to Better Using TN
Again welcome.
Old, slow, and dangerous, but still serving a purpose.
>-----:----:------>Spear 'em then Scalp 'em
Well done, Matthew
I would expect nothing else from the president of Tomahawknation Pensacola Chapter.
by Randall W. Spetman on Apr 1, 2010 2:20 PM EDT reply actions
Why I did not post this yet as Premium Information
A) I do not like or even acknowledge the Amish
2) I can wait a week, then place this VERY ARTICLE as a headline on the Chant, and still get “Thank you DOT”s and ;) from the lemmings
D) I was asked by JIMBO FISHER HIMSELF to not yet reveal this particular commitment to the masses
Reading my posts is a privilege and I will ban anyone who disagrees with me from the Internet for life.
YOU WILL BE SHUNNED....
….. if you post any more ironic posts. This time I’m serious! SHUNNED, I tell you.
Well they deleted my extremely important fanpost already
Reading my posts is a privilege and I will ban anyone who disagrees with me from the Internet for life.
Cmon man..it was a good one...someone must have read it before it got axed. Weak.
Reading my posts is a privilege and I will ban anyone who disagrees with me from the Internet for life.
Yes, and we all appreciate your comments here.
But, it seems like you’re a completely different person when you’re not on this website. And that person tends to be a bit more litigious.
Damn..So the "contest" would have gotten you guys in some water? Thats sucks, but is also funny if you think about it.
Reading my posts is a privilege and I will ban anyone who disagrees with me from the Internet for life.
ok - so perhaps this was a big hoax
but the part about an amish kid beating thacker in a bench press contest is indeed true
i was there
Welcome aboard. Nice pickup. Boooyaaahhhh!!!!
Better hop on the Nole Carriage: You’re either riding it to the watering hole or risking the Lord’s wrath and good tramplin’!
(Editor’s Note – if you actually glanced at the photo Matt included and still thought the article was authentic, it’s time to punch yourself in the face)
by The K-Man on Apr 1, 2010 4:44 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Did you use Andy Milonakis' face for the photoshopped picture?
A screen shot of Mose Schrute would’ve worked too.
Will be really funny . . .
When Rivals announces it and says, “As Rivals was the first to report, Amish phenom commits to the Noles.”
Here is his Facebook profile: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1440767395
Though his profile picture was taken prior to his latest growth spurt, during his Gilligan-lookalike phase, and when had only fathered 4 children.
Team Gold

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