Annual Lunatic Email Signals Football Season Is Near

Tonight I received an email from a gentleman by the name of Todd. I thought he was trolling, but given that he's emailed me things like this for two years, and it's exceptionally long, I'm inclined to regard him as a true believer. He says he has been reading for three years. I wonder if he just looks at the pictures.

Bud:

All these positive articles have been really nice to read over the last 3 years and everyone keeps getting excited as FSU continues to bring in top 5 or better recruiting classes but I'm always amazed they fail to leave out some important pieces to the puzzle as it relates to 1st winning the ACC and 2nd hoping to make it to a BCS game.

1. FSU has an avg to below avg QB; below avg pocket passer and very slow when he decides to take off and run. How far can you go w/ any avg QB these days in college football?

2. Love him hate him or anything in between it's difficult to say Dumbo a good coach. I think he got out-coached in every game last year including the high school games we won by multiple touchdowns. Has everyone forgot the embarrassment of the UVA game followed by 50yds of offense in the UF game? Dumbo likely couldn't qualify to be an O-coordinator at any SEC, PAC 16, or maybe even the BIG 10. I think he's the opposite of an offensive genius. Is he getting offensive coaching help from somewhere for this year? He's proven in close games that's he's more the "master of panic" then Van Gundy ever was in Miami or Orlando.

3. In order to win the ACC title this year, that means Dumbo will have to most likely beat Beamer and VT 2X. I'm not sure how depleted VT after losing their big RB and WR but I know their 6'6 255lb QB is light years better than ours. He's a guaranteed 1st round draft pick and EJ is looking at the 7th round to start this season. And don't forgot we play VT away in November and worst of all on Thursday night. Not a great combo for us.

4. Assuming the O-line is 50% better than last year, who exactly is going to be our RB this year that can make an impact? 2 are coming off injuries, 1 we can't keep out of jail, and as you mentioned in a previous review Mario Pender is likely too young to handle the blitz pick-up assignments.

5. WR- outside of Rashad Greene we have exactly 0 game changers at WR. Plenty of possession guys who can go over the middle, tough and durable guys, but no one other than Greene that can stretch the field. Can you win big games with only 1 deep threat?

6. Has Fisher come up with a new game plan for 2012? I'm wondering because his idea of the D holding teams to 20 and having the offense attempt to score 24 hasn't seemed to work real well. Especially since he loves to average less than 10pts in the 1st half. I'm just wondering how/when is that going to change?

7. Is our D good enough this year to really shut down the only meaningful games we play this year? VT, Clemson, and UF. Is someone replacing Greg "I get burned badly in every big game" Reid at DB in those games?

8. Depth- I've seen that tossed around this year and even Fisher believes we can sustain injuries much better this year. This is my question- since EJ seems to be injured quite often is the back-up job going to Coker? The 5'8 145lb midget from last year did have a nice arm but not being able to see over the line and running a solid 5.3 in the 40 leads me to believe he should focus more on flag football and have his dad help him into a coaching career if he's really interested in college football. Unless our back-up job at QB has changed I see that as a 1 play away from disaster scenario.

Also, will it be considered a success if FSU makes it to the ACC Championship and loses? I know Fisher was rewarded with 1 year contract extension after finishing 5th place in the ACC last year so he's probably getting a lifetime contract if he makes to the ACC Championship but I'm wondering what actually defines a successful season this year?

Todd [Redacted]

IMPORTANT STUFF HERE, FOLKS.

I do get emails with bits and pieces of this stuff on a regular basis, but this masterfully combines the stupid of the stupid.

SB Nation Featured Video
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Tomahawk Nation

You must be a member of Tomahawk Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Tomahawk Nation. You should read them.

Join Tomahawk Nation

You must be a member of Tomahawk Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Tomahawk Nation. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker