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The Week That Will Be – Week 5

Ten things that I promise might absolutely possibly happen. Maybe.

A) The ACC will follow the NFL’s lead and come to terms with its real referees so we don’t have to suffer through these replacements anymore. What? You say these ARE the real ACC refs? Oh. Umm. That's not good. Let’s just move on.

2) Some of my fellow Seminoles will reluctantly and quietly admit that rooting for the Florida Gators is a necessary evil as beating a premier SEC team will help our hopes for playing in the season’s last college football game in Miami. Those fans will also punch your first born in the neck if you accuse them of rooting for Hogtown’s Heroes.

D) Jimbo Fisher will formally address the location of his sideburns.

93 and 99) The Big 10 will officially announce it never wanted to place a team in the 2012 National Championship race so it advised its teams to be awful on purpose. This will prompt Urban Meyer to remove Jim Delany from his Circle of Trust.

Renegade) EJ Manuel will immediately slide after taking every snap in the second half against USF to save the Bulls from further embarrassment.

#) The SEC will offer Florida State a non-committable offer to join the SEC. According to sources I can’t name because they don’t exist, the offer will become committable on January 7, 2013 just before Jimbo Fisher raises the crystal trophy to ensure the SEC's national championship streak continues. When asked about the prospect of bringing FSU into the SEC, LSU Head Coach Les Miles said, "I like horsies".

$50 mil is a lot) Outside the Lines will report that Lane Kiffin and USC have received a verbal commitment from 2-year old Benjamin "My dad is Tom" Brady. Kiffin will blame Matt Barkley’s poor performance against Stanford as the reason this news leaked.

August) The Miami Hurricanes will realize they play the two best teams in the ACC in October: Florida State and Notre Dame. They will also realize both are road games even though one is in Miami.

CM Punk) Arkansas AD Jeff Long will vow to never use a temp agency to fill a head coaching position again. When asked about the AD’s statement, Arky’s sort of interim head coach John L. Smith will smile because smiling is important.

2Pac) Another school’s fanbase will realize Florida State is better than their favorite team marking the 109th fanbase to come to this realization.
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