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Fear the spear and death to all Gators!!!!!!!!

The 2013 football season so far is turning out to be one of the best ones ever for me. I guess during the dynasty years I was still young, and I couldn’t put the long historic streak of domination into perspective. I thought it would never end, I couldn’t appreciate a bowl streak or a top five streak. I celebrated two national championships to the best of my ability, even remember portions of it. I was a die hard fan, don’t get me wrong, didn’t miss a home game for six straight years and made most of the away ones during that time, but this feels different. As I grow older, I can better appreciate those streaks and records. That’s what makes this year in particular so nice. But there’s more to it too. It’s a perfect storm world this year, like order has been restored to a chaotic universe. Because you see, not only are we looking like THE best if not one of the top teams in the country, but the big mouthed lizards are stinking up their slime pit even more than usual. Two events in college football bring a smile to my face: Seminoles winning and Gators losing. And there has been a lot more of both this year. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that college football tends to be cyclical and so savor the moment when it’s here, because it will eventually pass and you don’t know when the next will come. That brings me to the point of this submission. The game in Gainesville and gator fans in general. The gators are our nemesis. They have big mouths and they like to keep them open. Still, they’re our neighbors and our coworkers. They have feelings. Some unfortunate Seminoles even choose mixed marriages and produce half Seminole half Gator offspring. I know, I know, but it DOES happen, there’s no denying it. They are like the McCoys to our Hatfields. It’s a long running feud, a blood hatred, no one knows exactly why it started but it’s there. The Gators I’m around these days, they are a humble lot. They are quiet, which is a rarity. They are complimentary to the Seminoles. They acknowledge our superiority. They want to bury the hatchet. They seem contrite for their past actions. They don’t really want to discuss a lot of college football, it isn’t important to them. They aren’t even obnoxious. They almost seem human. The hatchet has been buried in the Hatfield McCoy feud. Do we want to continue a culture of hatred? The high road would be to show mercy, to let bygones be bygones, and allow healing and forgiveness to start now with us. This is NOT THE TIME FOR THE HIGH ROAD!!!!!! Do we want to continue this culture of hatred? YES WE DO!!! This is a perfect football world that only comes around once in a blue moon and it may be many more years before an opportunity of this magnitude once again presents itself. We need to OWN BOTH end zones and all the sod in between of that stench hole called the swamp. When we leave, the normal putrid nauseating smell of that place needs to be accompanied by the deplorable incense of rotting reptile carcasses. That humbleness, rarely seen among gators, is FALSE HUMILITY. We need to humiliate them in order to HELP them to understand true humbleness, only then is there any hope for them. It’s like on the gator catching shows, you know the ones, they put duct tape around the gators mouth and the gator just lays there all calm, like a child’s pet. But he’s not doing that because he chooses to, he does it because it’s been forced on him. Cut that duct tape and that big mouth tries to bite the hand off the one that freed him. Those big mouths aren’t shut because they want them to be. The tears they are crying are crocodile tears. Furthermore, if or when the Bizarro World ever comes to existence and raises its ugly head, regardless of whether we are satisfied kicking a first quarter field goal, pulling all our starters, and sitting on that measly lead until the game clock strikes zero or whether we pummel them 90-0 on their home mud hole, you’d better believe they would not be merciful to us. It won’t make any future difference. This is why we MUST beat them as badly as possible, to historic proportions. Shut those mouths for a good long time. When things are good in gator land, I endure the endless stream of girls school, free shoes u, and every other derogatory taunt known to man. Our little girls need to beat those slimy big mouths to a pulp. I’m tired of their condescending snobbiness, when the truth is, that Florida State University has been in existence LONGER than UF, and actually SPAWNED it. Obviously, this was before abortions were legalized. But this fact is long forgotten by the reptile brains. This isn’t about style points, this is about REVENGE plain and simple. This is about justice. In the old days, hangings were public events. We need to beat the gators so badly that even the staunchest Seminole fans will be tempted to turn their heads from the carnage. But I won’t. Leave all the starters in until the score is 70-0 then let the reserves continue to run up the score. I’ll watch every last second of it and enjoy. Beyond that great pleasure, I am relishing that fans, even SEC ones, acknowledge the superiority of our program. It’s a tough one, choosing which is the sweeter of the two. How about you? Which do you enjoy more? Gator demise or Seminole dominance? Enjoy the season, they tend to change.

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