So, about a week ago I received a call from an FSU football player. I hadn't renewed my booster membership yet (I''m lazy), so the call was to remind me (successfully) to do so. I enjoyed the call (what a great idea), but it got me thinking, what if other current or former players had called me instead? How would those conversations have gone? Let's take a look:
(Major credit goes to my former roommate, MKE Nole (@armartin35), and his creative genius as almost all of these come from our conversation.)
(Also, none of this is meant to be malicious - it is all in jest and we appreciate all that each player has contributed to the team.)
Lonnie Pryor: "Hey, it's time to renew your booster membership world..."
Anthony 'Amp' McCloud: "Care to donate?... Maybe a Snickers?"
Timmy Jernigan: "You don't want to donate? Let me see if I can flip your mind..."
*EJ Manuel is spinning in circles while on the phone, and he trips and breaks his leg mid-call. You don't even realize this as he finishes getting your information and securing your donation.
*James Wilder Jr. calls but forgets the script and keeps saying the wrong thing. He forces his way through the conversation and, to your surprise, he secures twice your usual donation
*Greg Jones shoulder checks you when you refuse to donate, jarring lose miscellaneous coins which he then collects.
*Chris Rix called you, but he had to go before you answered... his car was being towed.
*Nick O'Leary uses a pre-recorded message that begins by describing his lineage.
*Nick O'Leary drops the phone mid-call after you wavier about making a donation. Too bad he wasn't wearing his dialing gloves.
*Korey Mangum dials the wrong number.
*Arrington Jenkins uses your credit card info to make some online purchases. His reasoning: "Anyone dumb enough to give their credit card # to an unsolicited phone call deserves to have fraudulent charges."
*Preston Parker misses his shift - he fell asleep getting McDonald's.
Trey Pettis: "I'd like a large, three-topping... Oh, sorry. Wrong number"
Wyatt Sexton: "You don't want to donate? Feel my divine wrath!"
*Lamarcus Joyner (Frankenstein) calls, but all you hear is "grrrr"
*Cam Erving and Dan Hicks call you together, but they can't decide if you should be giving them money, or the other way around.
*Kelvin Benjamin excels during training, but he jumps the gun during the real phone call and hangs up before he gets your credit card info.
*Nigel Bradham takes your information down correctly, but the credit card company makes a mistake and thinks it is a fraudulent charge. He is wrongly removed from phone duty.
*Gerry Thomas calls and you agree to donate, but he accidentally puts your credit card number in 1 box to the right.
*Peter Warrick and Laveranues Coles call and get your donation, but they massively undercharge your credit card.
*Bobby Bowden is called in last minute when you aren't sure about donating. He charms your mom and comments on her pie, and you end up donating at the last minute.
So, what do you think? Got any of your own?
(Nothing too disrespectful please.)