In an attempt to bury the hatchet with much-maligned Linebacker coach, Chuck Amato, I decided to help him pen a song that would hopefully help win him Jimbo Fisher's affections as well as the Defensive Coordinator position. Follow the jump for Chuck's earnest plea, as written by me.
(There are rumblings that some of our readers are still having a tough time with "the jump." Let me make it really clear- just below here there is a link that says "Continue reading this post." Spoiler alert: if you click there.... you can continue reading!! Hope that clears everything up now.)
Music: ABBA
Lyrics: Chuck Amato and MattDNole
If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Let me be DC.
If you think I'm not too old, then I've got you set
If you choose to let me coach, must have lost a bet
If you need a coach, who can drink the whole Draino
Honey I'm still free
Let me be DC
Gonna do my very best, and it ain't no lie
I would let you touch my chest, if you let me try
Let me be DC
(that's all I ask of you Jimbo)
Let me be DC
We can go shopping, we can clean lockers, as long as were together
We can start napping, watch tape of Wisconsin, who can coach you better?
Cuz you know I've got
So much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm coaching you
It's magic
I can teach you to execute, help pick out pretty shoes
But I think you know
That I just can't coach.
If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Let me be DC.
If you like your LBs small, then I'm the right man
If they just can't find the ball, keep me in your plans
If you need a coach, who can not recruit at all
Honey I'm still free
Let me be DC
Gonna put in some effort, and it aint no lie
I would keep my hours short, prolly gone by five.
Let me be DC
(come on, give me a break will you? )
Let me be DC
Or you can take your time Bobby, I'm in no hurry, know I'm gonna outlive you
If you don't wanna fight me, Jimbo don't worry, I'll sneak up and get you
Let me tell you now
My coaching's bad enough to make the whole team suck
Its magic
You say that I waste my time, your control I'll undermine
Please don't let me go
Cuz I just can't coach
If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Let me be DC.
If you think I'm not too old, then I've got you set
If you choose to let me coach, must have lost a bet
If you need a coach, who can drink the whole Draino
Honey I'm still free
Let me be DC
Gonna do my very best, Jimbo don't fire me
That I'm good ole Chuck the Chest, let me be DC
(take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)
Boo boo boo boo boob, boo boo boo boo boob
Honey Im still free
Let me be DC
Gonna do my very best, Jimbo don't fire me
That I'm good ole Chuck the Chest, take a chance on me
(take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)
Boo boo boo boo boob, boo boo boo boo boob
Honey Im still free
Let me be DC....