TN Members As NCAA Football Teams

How are some TN members like NCAA Football teams? Let's take a look (stats as of August 4, 2013).

  • FSU: Alabama. FSU is a juggernaut. With almost 13K posts she is pretty much the industry standard around these parts just like Alabama's 46 national titles. Is she on deer antler spray too? Probably. Would she still beat you without it? Probably. The process to understanding her process is also a process. Insert Terry Saban joke here.
  • Bud Elliott: LSU. Bud's SEC bias is pretty obvious here. With over 45K posts and over 4700 RECS, getting into a pissing match with Bud is the equivalent of playing in Deaf Valley under the ain't not gonna lose. And just like Les Miles, Bud eats grass, drinks Mexican tap water, gets called a clown on a weekly basis, and has a pet tiger.
  • DRusso97: Miami (of Florida). DRusso has the numbers of a Y2K Miami squad. 11K posts with 3500 RECS is the equivalent of 5 RaNgZ Yo and it's obvious he has the talent without the alleged ab**tion coupons. And like Miami (of Florida) he has an incredible amount of bandwagon fans that have never actually seen him in person and only know of him on the Interwebbings.
  • Meehl: Florida. I picture Meehl with the thousand yard stare of Will Muschamp combined with the ears of Jeff Driskel, and the maturity of Antonio Morrison. With 7.5K comments he has 1.8K RECS for a rate of 24%. However, like the Florida football team, he generally needs the defense and special teams to bail out his terrible offense just to squeak by the TN poster equivalent of Bowling Green. His most decorated comment here.
  • newdynastynole: Florida State University. The best name on TN gets to be the best name in college football! Like the original new-dynasty noles (88-01), newdynastynole's name is the stuff of legends. Is it the greatest of all time? Is it pound for pound the best of all time? In my opinion yes, but the numbers say no. And much like the current FSU football team, newdynastynole coasts by on an easy ACC schedule and name recognition.
  • The K-Man: Oregon. My personal favorite on TN, when The K-Man gets the ball in his hands his numbers end up looking like a De'Anthony Thomas stat line. Pound for pound the best offense in the country on display here. Also, I imagine his house looks like the new Oregon football facilities only with slightly less weed smoke coming out of it.
  • Bud Elliott, Jr. Auburn. One hit wonder. One comment, 54 RECS. And like the Auburn program, he he hasn't been seen since he last won the national title.
  • FrankDNole: Kansas State. He's a Wizard! Advanced metrics just can't figure out Frank and K-State: 12K comments with over 4,700 RECS. Posting a higher REC rate than DRusso? The numbers are staggering. However, most of the wins (RECS) come from an old man with the use of JUCOs (pictures) so the advanced numbers underrate him every year. You just have to trust your eye on this one.
  • bobbysura: Clemson. I am the equivalent of the Chad Morris offense: only 1,100 posts but 620 RECS for a ridiculous clip of 54%. I am also the equivalent of the Clemson defense: 341 RECS given means I have to score at a high rate because I simply give too many away. Not to mention the schedule is a joke, the HC is a clown, and they can't beat anyone worth a damn...probably as overrated as anyone in the country. Think of me as a healthy combination of Chad Kelly SWAG with the white habit of 8-ball the Tiger, green habit of Samuel Watkins, and the sweater habit of Dabo.
  • CornNole: Texas. At 16.5K posts, CornNole has the numbers of a perennial top 15 team. 1425 RECS are fine but not for one of the richest schools out there. With talent like that you just can't squander it the way CornNole has over the last few years. I mean you used to always be able to pencil Corn in the top 3, but now he's not even in the discussion. I envision CornNole with the Mack Brownian/George W. Bushian southern twang with the personal financial skills of Vince Young.
  • DocHoliday2: Boise State. The only football team hipsters root for because it's not mainstream and it's a threat to the Man. With over 5K posts, Doc shows he belongs with the big boy programs (but only once a year). And just like Boise's smurf turf, DocHoliday2's photshops are hard to look at.
  • tricknole: Penn State. Like the Penn State of old, tricknole ranks way up there in raw numbers. Over 30K comments before 2012 puts him way up the historical list. However, Penn State before 2012 and after are completely different stories. What happened in Happy Valley was alarming as is something that has now come to light about tricknole. Having commented over 30K times he did not give out a single REC to anyone ever! I just can't look at trick the same way.
  • floridastateofmind: Incarnate Word Cardinals. You've likely never heard of either, but both floridastateofmind and the Cardinals have been around since 2009. floridastateofmind reads but rarely comments as he/she has posted only 26 times (good for one post every two months), but has given out 2010 RECS! He/she is the most selfless TN member and the Anti-tricknole in every sense. Here's to floridastateofmind (raises glass)!
  • caine115: Ole Miss. Almost 8K comments, 750 RECS received, and 350 RECS given. Caine can certainly claim relevence among his peers, however, he does play in one of the toughest divisions in all of sport and cannot be realistically considered a national title threat but once every couple decades. Questions of education levels are always out there, but that doesn't stop him from stealing your five stars.

Have some comparisons of your own? Make me laugh in the comments section! As not to make it too lengthy others have been left for you to fill in. Poke fun at yourself and others. Also, a special thanks goes out to BenDNole who helped a great deal with this.

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