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Eyes on the Enemy: Keeping tabs on Florida State’s rivals

This piece might honestly just turn into a weekly roasting of Florida if they keep things up

Florida v Florida State Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

Football is back! So is focusing on your rivals in an effort to forget about a loss! Let’s get into it before I have to think about the second half of Saturday’s game again!


The Tigers, as expected, took care of business on opening weekend and beat Kent State 56-3.

Kelly Bryant pretty much only played half of the game, leading a touchdown drive in the beginning of the third quarter before being replaced by Zerrick Cooper. He showed off what he brings to the table in the win, putting up 236 yards through the air and 77 yards on the ground to go along with both a passing and rushing touchdown.

What’s interesting about the game, though, is that freshman Hunter Johnson got some playing time, going five of six for 39 yards. While the numbers aren’t impressive, the fact that Johnson entered the game and won’t be redshirting could is telling, given Dabo Swinney’s quote when announcing Bryant as the starter:

"As long as Kelly Bryant does not go backwards, he will be the starter in the opener. But every practice and every play will be evaluated between now and Sept. 2. Then he has to perform on game day. He must continue his consistency."

If Bryant falters against Auburn this weekend, might Yo Dabbo Dabbo go to the freshman? Possibly, though with Trevor Lawerence set to arrive in town next year, the Tigers could face the same potential issue that Florida State and Georgia are said to face in the recruitment of Justin Fields.

Clemson is currently favored by 5.5 points against Auburn, with an over/under of 53.5. The game is scheduled for 7 p.m. and will be on ESPN.


While its contemporaries were taking on the likes of Alabama and Michigan, the Hurricanes had a nice ol’ chill relax fest against the Wildcats of Bethune-Cookman (shout out the 386.)

Well, at least it turned into a nice ol’ chill relax fest after Bethune-Cookman took a 3-0 lead and kept it 3-3 for the first quarter. After that, Miami found a little life, putting up five touchdowns over the course of the second and third quarter on the way to a 41-13 win.

Malik Rosier went 17 of 28 for 217 yards and three touchdowns, and though I personally couldn’t see the game and judge his performance because, you know, the whole not-on-national-TV-because-its-a-terrible-game thing, some ‘Canes fans have started rationalizing his performance:

I leave the best for last when it comes to the offense. Probably the most controversial “hot take” I have as well.

After watching the first three quarters, I’m fine with Malik Rosier as the quarterback. Yes, when I was watching “the box score” he looked terrible but replaying the game visually for the first half, I really didn’t have a problem with how he played. If there’s someone out there who could break down each of his passing plays it’d be much appreciated but from what I remember he was around, what, 10-20 at half? I counted at least 4-6 drop balls in that span. Not badly thrown balls either. Yes, he did miss a few passes when he was rolling out but overall I thought he played well.

That absolutely screams confidence.

In other news, Miami’s out here getting roasted by an Arkansas State 247 site because of the school’s decision to cancel the game between the two. I actually won’t poke too much fun at that, because it is just a football game and there is a Category 5 hurricane currently bearing down on South Florida, but seeing the website insinuate that Miami is avoiding Arkansas State because Arkansas State barely lost to Nebraska is really, really, really funny.

Miami is off this week, with its next game coming against this small school called Florida State at 8 p.m. on September 16.


Who knew that Jim McElwain getting accused of fornicating with a shark would be one of the minor storylines of the 2017 Florida football season?

With the Gators’ debit card scandal apparently still deepening, the nine suspended players involved in it (Antonio Callaway, Jordan Scarlett, Jordan Smith, Kadeem Telfort, Ventrell Miller, James Houston, Rick Wells, Keivonnis Davis and Richerd Desir-Jones) will apparently remain suspended indefinitely rather than just the one game that McElwain was suggesting.

“Still haven’t heard anything. We’ll see,” is what McElwain said when asked about those players two days ago, continuing his cutesy schtick of playing dumb about everything that’s going on with his football team.

McElwain’s “well shucks, I don’t know” routine actually came back around to him in a hilarious way when he told reporters on Wednesday that he didn’t know if tight end DeAndre Goolsby would be back this season.

Now, DeAndre Goolsby also doesn’t know if he’ll be back this season.

That’s not even the funniest thing involving McElwain this week, as he offered this gem of a quote on Monday:

According to reports, the collective groan of every Gator fan on the Internet as they realized they’d have to defend that stupid comment registered on the Richter scale.

I think David Visser said it best:

You see, in two years at UF, McElwain is 0-2 against the best team in his state (FSU), 0-2 against the best team in his conference (Alabama), and 0-2 against a team coached by a Dockers commercial (Michigan). And McElwain thinks that that’s “fair.” After all, per McElwain, the Gators “strive to be” where they are (ostensibly, that would be on the winning side of a big game).

I can’t wait for Florida to lose to Kentucky in two weeks and see the entirety of the fan base turn on him.

The Gators play Northern Colorado on Saturday at 12 p.m., and will only be broadcast online.


Questions? Comments? Trash talk? Leave ‘em below, and I’ll see y’all at the same time next week.