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Eyes on the Enemy: Florida State football rival rundown

Writing one of these after a win is always much better, especially when that win is preceded by rival’s hilarious and historical loss

NCAA Football: Kentucky at Florida Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Can you imagine how stupid this column would have looked if Florida State had lost to Samford? I’m contractually obligated to write this column (don’t ask me why I signed a contract to be paid no money, what am I, your lawyer?) and so the show would have definitely gone on, it just would have been a show on par with the “Our American Cousin” performance on April 14, 1865.


The Tigers ended up having themselves a little ol’ scare vs. Jimbob and the Boys, getting the blessing of both the stupidest rule in football and the inability of West Virginia’s own to dial up a working two-point conversion to escape with a win.

With the Agriculture’s out of the way, Clemson can kick into cruise control and start fiddling around on its phone as it drives toward the end of the season, though, like anytime you use your phone and drive, the danger of crashing and burning intensifies.*

*This has been a public service announcement, kids. Don’t use your cell, or you’ll be burning in hell.

Hurricane Florence has moved Clemson’s game vs. Georgia Southern up to noon, the first of two straight games against option teams, the vaunted duo of the Eagles and Georgia Tech. Pour some out for the offensive linemen that have to avoid cut blocks all weekend.


Did Miami really play last week? Like, did a single person see anything about the game, at all? They won by 77 points, a shutout, and I didn’t hear a single word. Are the fans really just that broken?

The Fighting Richts are facing one of their toughest tests this week, heading on the road to travel to the vaunted Glass Bowl, home of the Toledo Rockets.

Toledo, MAC champions a year ago, might actually have a shot at hanging with Miami. In his preview of the team, Bill Connelly noted that “from a recruiting perspective, they are the Alabama of the MAC,” reflected by the fact that they’ve been in conference title contention every year since 2011. The capacity of the Glass Bowl is 26,244, so it’ll be seen if playing in front of that many people will prove a shock to the Hurricanes.

Miami vs. Toledo kicks off at 12 p.m. on ESPN2, with a spread of 10.5 in Miami’s favor.


There were two obstacles in the path of laughing at Florida’s misery on Saturday: first, Florida State not losing to Samford.

Second, and somehow even more in question, was Kentucky’s ability to not be Kentucky.

And in the end, both came up clutch.

The Gators, riding high after a suuuuper impressive opening game win, were quickly brought back down to Earth, turning a 10-7 halftime lead to a 27-16 loss and erasing the one bragging point that they had left. No Tennessee streak, no Kentucky one. That fanbase is clinging on to the hope that they’re going to be able to handle Vanderbilt. They’re the only ones outpacing Florida State fans in proclamations of doom and misery.

It’s going to be hilarious when they lose to Colorado State.

Florida takes on the Rams at 4 p.m. on Saturday, the game set to be broadcast on the SEC Network. The spread is currently 20.5 points in Florida’s favor.


Questions? Comments? Trash talk? Leave ‘em below, and I’ll see y’all at the same time next week.