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Florida State hate guide: Syracuse is at least partially responsible for The Chainsmokers

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Let’s talk some smack about the need for elite journalism programs in the unstable current state of media

The Chainsmokers In Concert - Brooklyn, NY Photo by Arik McArthur/FilmMagic

Florida State’s game against Syracuse is huge for a few reasons. It goes a long way for FSU’s chances to go to a bowl, it could ruin or make homecoming for the like six students who care and it very well can be the defining game of the Willie Taggart era.

And, most importantly, FSU can pay Syracuse back for the pain its inflicted by unleashing half of The Chainsmokers to the world. (If you’re anti-Willie, here’s a bonus for you: the dude’s last name is Taggart.)

Last year, Syracuse won against Florida State for only the second time ever, and as I’m sure nobody has forgotten, the experience was absolutely terrible. That, and all the aforementioned examples, are reason enough to want to see Dino Babers look more like Dino Babys (really, hold your applause), but really, there’s no shortage of things to get annoyed at about Syracuse.

For starters, the whole orange thing. We’re pretty much in agreement that it’s the common denominator in teams being absolute turds, and even worse, they made it the entire dang brand of the team. Why do they expect me to capitalize a common noun just because they were too lazy to think of something cool?

Carrier Dome? Lame, ugly, stinky. It’s like if somebody saw Tropicana Field and was like, “huh, how can we make this even worse, and then stick multiple sports in there?”

Jim Boeheim? On record (and video) (and audio) (and every audible, visual and tactile medium) as being a big ol’ nerd ass whack boy.

Otto the Orange is just Obie the Orange’s mean, asshole New York counterpart, who screams at his kids at Publix, makes them get their free cookies from the bakery and then eats them himself.

I could go on and on, but I’ll just sum it up neatly here: going to an elite journalism program in the current state of media is as useful as when boomers tell you to “just go and talk to employers to get hired, show them your face.”