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Miami might have the most delusional fan base in college football

An ode to “The U is back,” the gift that keeps on giving

Miami v Florida State Photo by Don Juan Moore/Getty Images

There’s a level of delusion when it comes to Miami Hurricane fandom that rivals perhaps only Michigan and Notre Dame when it comes to modern-day success, though at least those schools can at least claim New Year’s Six bowl wins and national championship and playoff appearances (respectively, please don’t think that I’m implying Michigan can make the playoff or Notre Dame to win a big-name bowl game.)

Since 2004, Miami’s last major bowl win (well, according to current standards, since the Peach Bowl wasn’t part of the BCS), the Hurricanes have won two bowl games. In that same time frame, they’ve gone 7-5 five times. They’ve had four head coaches, four seasons where they’ve finished ranked, one 10-win season and zero players honored with national individual awards.

*extremely Miami fan voice* and three 30 for 30s!!!!!!

Its best year, ended with a double-digit loss in the Orange Bowl where Wisconsin of all teams threw for four touchdowns.* The U has been back so many times, it should have signed up for the loyalty program and racked up points so at least it didn’t completely waste its time. (does that joke register at all?) The phrase “disappointing Miami football season” has achieved such a level of truth and singularity, that saying it is literally doubly factual. The Hurricanes, in case you also haven’t heard, have never won an ACC title, something that even Wake Forest and Georgia Tech has achieved.

*(sidenote: hey, do you happen to know who was the quarterback in that game?)

And for the “we shouldn’t be making fun of anybody!!!” crowd, this is said with the full knowledge that after a brief, but successful, run, Florida State finds itself stuck in the same quicksand hole of suck that Florida appears to have gotten most of its limbs out of but has Miami breathing out of its nose. Somebody being “fair” and “objective” and “realistic” could say that the pot has no business calling the kettle whack, but hey, as frustrating as another extremely disappointing Florida State season could be, having relevant, consequential highlights in high definition should give you some sort of cushion.