SO EVERYBODY HAD A GOOD WEEKEND RIGHT?
NOTHING BAD HAPPENED? FOOTBALL WAS NICE AND FUN AND FULL OF GOOD LAUGHS AND TIMES?
HA HA WHAT’S THAT? I’M YELLING? OH I KNOW, THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO BLOCK OUT THE MEMORIES AND THOUGHTS.
LET’S GET TO IT!
Remember the glory days when Florida State was the team that built itself in Alabama’s blueprint, and not Clemson?
The Tigers had a relatively standard weekend, taking on Wake Forest and beating them handidly 28-14. Clemson built up 21-0 lead before a fourth quarter that saw the Demon Deacons score 14 points to cover.
What was potentially scary was quarterback Kelly Bryant leaving the game with an ankle injury, though Dabo Swinney indicated that the junior will indeed play this upcoming Friday against Syracuse.
For a hilarious take on the (disgusting) idea that college football is being played on a Friday, here’s Shakin’ the Southland:
What sort of Yankee joke bull crap is this? College football is played on Saturday and high school football is played on Friday. That is the right and true way of the world. Sure, we’ll let the occasional Thursday night game creep onto the schedule, but at least that’s not in direct competition with high school football. This is another in a long line of stupid Tobacco Road decisions that ignore the importance of high school and college football in south. I am certain Swofford and Boeheim conspired impose this stupid Friday night game on Clemson out of pure spite.
Clemson vs. Syracuse kicks off at 7 p.m. on Friday, with the spread currently 22.5 points in Clemson’s favor and an over/under of 56.5. The game’ll be broadcast on ESPN.
That’s all I got.
Miami takes on Georgia Tech at 3:30 p.m. on Saturday, and the game will be broadcast on ESPN. The spread is currently six points in Miami’s favor, and the over/under is set at 52.5.
All I gotta say is, thank God for Florida, or this column would’ve been really depressing this week.
The Gators lost to LSU in a particularly hilarious way, with team MVP kicker Eddy Piñeiro missing what would’ve been the game-tying point in the third quarter. The two teams then battled to see who could have the worst offense, combining for two first downs total in the fourth.
I feel robbed of the seven overtime game we would’ve got that would’ve almost assuredly ended on one of the teams somehow getting a safety. A boy can dream.
The true highlight of the week for Florida came on Tuesday, when it was announced that the Gators would be wearing......these.
Oh wait, sorry wrong picture, I meant these:
Okay here are the heinous things if you haven’t seen them yet:
They’re “swamp green,” which is apparently a fancy way to say poop.
I just....don’t get why, at all, in any shape or form. The biggest reasoning I’ve seen used is that “recruits will like it!!!” but I seriously don’t know who can say that they like those uniforms and not either be lying to themselves or the worst human alive. It’s not like I’m particularly older than recruits, so I don’t really feel out of touch when I say that those monstrosities look like what a costume design department would make for a TV show that wanted to portray a football team called the Alligators and not infringe on any potential copyright issues. They look like if Louis Vuitton tried to design camo-influenced products for a gas station, and not a cool one like Busy Bee or WaWa, like super disgusting like a Texaco. They look like coffee when you forget about it for like three days and then see the cup at your sink with that weird layer of skin and then push off cleaning for a few more days. They look like the uniform that a team coached by an alleged shark humper would wear.
Florida takes on Texas A&M at 7 p.m. on Saturday, with the game being broadcast on ESPN2. The spread currently is 2.5 in Florida’s favor, with an over/under set at 51.5.
Questions? Comments? Trash talk? Leave ‘em below, and I’ll see y’all at the same time next week.