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Eyes on the Enemy: Florida State rival rundown

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Everybody’s sad except Miami, 2017 confirmed worst year ever

Texas A&M v Florida Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

It’s week eight, but it’s felt like 16.

With how ridiculous the last four weeks have been it’s almost unfathomable to think of the Florida State vs. Alabama game, to process that Clemson was on its way to a title game rematch and now might be on the outside looking in for the ACC Atlantic race, to imagine that Miami is undefeated with a hilariously manageable schedule and to live with the knowledge that Florida wore poop-colored uniforms and then literally pooped the bed against Texas A&M.

Let’s get to it.

Clemson:

First, I am very, very happy that Kelly Bryant is okay. The hit he took looked nasty, but just the sheer fact that he wasn’t moving in the aftermath of it was significantly scarier. It was one of those brutal reminders about the sport we watch, and it wasn’t very fun to have to consider in context for the rest of the game.

Now, let’s move on to Clemson Fight Club:

First rule: you do not talk about CLEMSONING.

Second rule: you DO NOT talk about CLEMSONING.

I love the enthusiasm that these guys have beating the crap out of each other, it seems as if they’ve taken a page out of the Chicago Bulls’ handbook. They show more fight in those six seconds than any Florida State defensive stand with the game on the line this season.

The Tigers are on a bye this week, but with their loss to Syracuse, the ACC is in a bit of a flux. NC State currently leads the Atlantic division, with Clemson, Boston College, Wake Forest and North Carolina left on its slate, while Clemson takes on Georgia Tech, NC State and Florida State to finish things off.

Here are some scenarios:

Clemson beats NC State, wins out, Clemson goes to championship based on tiebreaker/straight up should NC State lose.

NC State beats Clemson, wins out, NC State goes outright.

Clemson beats NC State, Florida State beats Clemson and wins out, NC State loses to an additional ACC team, Florida State goes to championship based off tiebreaker.

Clemson beats NC State, Syracuse wins out, NC State loses to an additional ACC team, Syracuse goes to championship based off tiebreaker.

Welcome to 2017, where Syracuse and Florida State have equal chances at securing a division title.

Miami:

The Hurricanes have officially become this season’s “how the hell are they still undefeated eight weeks in?” team, following in the footsteps of previous greats such as 2016’s Texas A&M (5-0, finished 8-5), 2015’s LSU (6-0, finished 9-3) and 2014’s Notre Dame (5-0, finished 8-5).

After winning close calls against *REDACTED* and Georgia Tech, Miami is sitting at 5-0 on the season and 3-0 in the conference with only games against Syracuse, North Carolina, Virginia Tech, Virginia and Pittsburgh remaining. Of those five, Virginia Tech should offer the biggest challenge, though Syracuse and Pittsburgh will be tricky in their own right.

With everything else going on, are we prepared for a world in which Miami is ranked in the top ten of the initial College Football Rankings? Syracuse, a nation turns its hopeful eyes on you.

Miami vs. ’Cuse kicks off at 3:30 p.m., with the game being broadcast on ESPN. The line is currently 16.5 points in Miami’s favor, with an over/under of 59.

Florida:

I’m still waiting for one person to tell me with a straight face that Florida’s uniforms were cool, because I need to meet the worst human being alive.

A small sample of the national reaction to them:

In a game as gross as the uniforms in it Florida lost for the second time in as many weeks, this time to a Texas A&M squad that earlier this year blew a 34-point lead. 19-17 is so ugly to look at, because you know that stupid football stuff had to happen for two odd numbers to be the final score.

To emphasize how terrible the game was, A&M won by only scoring one touchdown. Florida took a 17-10 lead early in the fourth, and then proceeded to slowly die by way of Aggie field goals. Daniel LaCamera hit kicks with 12:35, 7:37 and 58 seconds left in the game, and in that time, the Gators managed to put together a three-play drive, a five-play drive and an one-play drive that ended with an interception. It truly takes masterful work to accomplish that level of futility.

Florida now sits at 3-3 on the year, with a bye week standing between them and a matchup against No. 3 Georgia. The Bulldogs will, and should, be favored in the game, but lord knows how consistently they somehow manage to lose games to inferior Florida squads. Even in 2013, the last year that Georgia won, the Gators were 4-4 on the way to 4-8 and Georgia still only pulled out a 23-20 victory.

With national title and SEC Championship hopes on the line, let’s see how Georgia blows it this time.

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Questions? Comments? Trash talk? Leave ‘em below, and I’ll see y’all at the same time next week.