Warning: what follows contains words and an image that may trouble and disturb you. Please be advised. Here are our picks for Saturday’s Northern Illinois vs. Florida State game.
Northern Illinois 3
Frida State 2
(That’s not a typo. Florida State is sans OL. Don’t @ me.)
NIU has a good defense and so does FSU. NIU has a bad offense and, well, yeah. Taggart will do what he can to help scheme around this depleted offensive line, but the real fix will be recruiting. In other words, there’s no cavalry. There’s no telling what will happen in this game, but you can be sure it’s going to be ugly.
NIU 6 - FSU 0
This might be the worst football game ever played. Neither offense is anything approaching competent and both defenses are very good so..... Unfortunately the FSU offense will continue to struggle, and I’m not sure there’s much anybody can do about it for the next year or so. This game is likely to come down to whichever team hits random big plays because the defense blew a coverage and hits the eventual field goal. NIU 6 - FSU 3
Somehow, some way, FSU finds a way to keep its faint bowl hopes alive for another week. Both defenses stockpile footage for their NFL scouting tapes. FSU gets one defensive score and sets up the offense for its lone TD of the game on a separate turnover. NIU gets a special teams touchdown, but only passes the 50 yard-line on offense twice— once on a busted play.
FSU 16, Northern Illinois 10
NeThruandThru (OL is missing):
Well, most of my optimism in the offense is gone. The players and coaches are saying the right things, but until it translates on the field, I’m not predicting FSU to score more than 20 points in another game and that’s still probably too ambitious. NIU’s defensive end, Sutton Smith, will probably look like Reggie White against the offensive line. At this point, I’m just hoping to see progress of some sort from players and coaches. Luckily NIU’s offense is pretty bad, so I expect the defense to force a couple turnovers and keep FSU in the game against NIU (did I seriously just write that? Ick.) A late touchdown by Terminator Terry seals the win in the 4th.
NIU and FSU slug it out, totaling 50 yards of offense in the first quarter. This trend continues until NIU blocks a punt for a TD. Cimarron sheds a tear as FSU loses 7-0.
The words of former Northern Illinois quarterback Jordan Lynch may have come back to bite him in 2013, but I think a certain bit will be relevant to Saturday’s game.
”We plan on wearing them down. In the fourth quarter, we plan to have them on their knees.”
Of course this statement won’t apply to any offense that takes the field, but to the fans that will be sweltering in Doak, suffering through a good old fashioned defensive slobber knocker. If you hate points, this one is for you.
Let’s pray there is enough room in that red backpack to fit the whole offense, because the defense will have to carry the day.
Florida State has a defensive touchdown and a score late to eke past the Huskies.
This is two pretty good defenses versus two of the worst offenses in FBS, statistically. Sutton Smith will get to Deondre Francois multiple times; just accept it now. FSU scores 20, one on special teams, one on defense and the offense adds two FGs kicked by Logan Tyler.
Twenty-two years ago, one of the more monumental events in athletic history took place. In a dazzling testament to the human spirit and a marked reminder of the value of perseverance, Stone Cold Steve Austin won the 1996 King of the Ring tournament. On that fateful night, he delivered his now infamous Austin 3:16 speech, which are words that I still live by to this day.
In honor of the Texas Rattlesnake, I’ve adopted my own personal mantra that I will apply to my game picks for the rest of the season.
Rowland 3:16 says, “I will not pick Florida State to beat an FBS team, until they show me that they can actually beat an FBS team.”
Well, unfortunately for the ’Noles, Northern Illinois is an FBS team.
NIU 20 - FSU 13
And that’s the bottom line.
We’re at the freaking point of the season were we will finally freakin’ rip out our opponents freaking heart and freakin’ eat it right before their freaking eyes.
FSU 34 - NIU 17
Ahh, the shoulder pads have become lazy. They and their residents have become accustomed to the general discontent. The general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
Willie Taggart grew up the son of a boulangerie owner in Belgium. But his offensive line is the work of the proprietor of an artisan patisserie.
Gap blocking schemes keep FSU ahead of the chains and allow explosive plays.
“I’m not usually the butt of the joke; I’m usually the face of the joke.” -Michael Scott
I’m not sure which part of the joke FSU has been this season, but nobody in Tallahassee is laughing. And this game may have some football fans crying. That is, until, they opt for the more pleasant alternative of gouging their own eyes out. The play on the field will mirror the weather: stagnant, oppressive, and just plain gross. It’s strange that I may be typing this for the final time this season — in September — but Florida State gets the win.
Huskies 13, Seminoles 17
Be sure to check with the Nolecast for predictions from our Bud Elliott and Ingram Smith.