FSU Football Fan Rooting Guide, TV Listings: Week 2

[Checks calendar. Confirms it is Friday.]

[Opens internet browser.]

[Checks social media. Sees multiple RIP Burt statuses. Saddens. Thinks of that scene in Smokey and the Bandit where the Bandit tells Sheriff Buford T. Justice to F.O. Laughs audibly. Remembers fondly. “RIP, Bandit.” Opens second browser window.]

[“Ah yes. Tomahawk Nation. Easily the best FSU football website. Honest. Priced right. Doesn’t clickbait. Doesn’t write fluff. Let’s check in on that weekly rooting guide.”]

Well that wasn’t what we expected in week one from our beloved Florida State Seminoles [You can say that again, pal]. What a disappointment. What a flop. No one saw that coming. Bud Foster’s defense, the one that lost seemingly half its starters over the offseason, held FSU’s vaunted new offense to three points.

Football can be a strange game. One minute you’re convinced of a 10-win season, the next you’re not sure if FSU can finish .500. This weekend, the ’Noles welcome Samford to town coming off a short week [Not short enough]. This should be a good chance to work out the kinks [It better flippin’ be]. However, there are other important games to digest besides the Seminoles [Not sure if I’d qualify the Samford game as “important”].

We’re taking a look at what results FSU football fans should be rooting for in these week two games that will help the ’Noles get to the College Football Play [Good one, guy] or at least a NY6 bowl berth. This week we’re again dividing up the games by broadcast time since most matchups are out-of-conference [We know, not our first rodeo, chief]. With that, let’s get into this weekend’s slate. All times listed are Eastern.

Friday, September 7, 2018

No. 16 TCU vs. SMU, 8pm, ESPN2: SMU. Easy. Unranked non-P5 team over a ranked Big 12 team. FSU fans should root for the Mustangs on Friday night.

Saturday, September 8, 2018

New Mexico vs. No. 5 Wisconsin, 12pm, BTN: New Mexico. Both teams won their openers, but this one is likely to get out of hand early. Either way, FSU fans should root for all the chaos. Go Lobos.

No. 18 Mississippi State vs. Kansas State, 12pm, ESPN: Kansas State. The Wildcats had to score 15 points in the fourth quarter last week to avoid a home opener upset by South Dakota. Meanwhile, Nick Fitzgerald makes his season debut for the Bulldogs. FSU fans should be rooting for unranked Kansas State to pull the upset.

Duke vs. Northwestern, 12pm, ESPNU: Duke. Battle of the Brainiacs here. How many slide rules and textbooks make an appearance in the stands during this one? FSU fans should go with our conference mates in this one.

Georgia Tech vs. USF, 12pm, ABC or ESPN2: Georgia Tech. The last thing FSU needs right now is another non-P5 Florida school rising up in the rankings or making a push in recruiting, particularly if FSU struggles. Georgia Tech is a conference mate, so FSU fans should pull for the Ramblin’ Wreck.

UCLA vs. No. 6 Oklahoma, 1pm, FOX: UCLA. The Bruins lost their home opener to Cincinnati and face a steep uphill climb to bowl eligibility. The schedule won’t get much easier once the conference slate starts, but this trip to Norman will be the tallest of tasks for Chip Kelly in year one. It would be great to see a UCLA upset, but don’t count on it.

No. 3 Georgia vs. No. 24 South Carolina, 3:30pm, CBS: South Carolina. The home team has won five of the last six in this series. The Gamecocks will look to keep that streak alive with a huge upset of UGA on Saturday. Since we’re rooting for chaos, FSU fans should pull for South Carolina. FSU’s recruiting efforts would benefit from a USCe win here as well.

Rutgers vs. No. 4 Ohio State, 3:30pm, BTN: Rutgers. The Scarlet Knights beat Texas State 35-7 in their opener last week, but Ohio State put up basketball numbers on Oregon State like they had something to prove. It would be great to see a Rutgers upset in Columbus on Saturday. FSU fans should pull for one.

Ball State vs. No. 8 Notre Dame, 3:30pm, NBC: Ball State. Is this a letdown game for Notre Dame? Ball State beat the doors off Central Connecticut 42-6 in week one. Granted, it was just Central Connecticut. But Notre Dame is coming off a tough-fought win over Michigan and could be overlooking Ball State. FSU fans should be rooting for the Cardinals in this one.

UNC vs. ECU, 3:30pm, ESPNU: UNC. North Carolina lost their season opener to Cal. East Carolina lost their season opener to North Carolina A&T. Someone has to win this game. FSU fans should hope it is the ACC representative.

Iowa State vs. Iowa, 5pm, FOX: Iowa. The Hawkeyes beat Northern Illinois last week. FSU plays the Huskies in two weeks. Therefore, FSU’s out-of-conference schedule strength would benefit from an Iowa win. Besides, someone has to challenge Wisconsin in the Big Ten West, and Iowa State isn’t much of a threat in the Big 12. Iowa has won four of the last five in this rivalry, and FSU fans should hope that continues.

No. 2 Clemson vs. Texas A&M, 7pm, ESPN: Clemson. [I WAS NEARLY ON THE VERGE OF FORGETTING THAT JIMBO FISHER LEFT FSU, A PERENNIAL BLUEBLOOD POWERHOUSE, FOR A FORGOTTEN, ALSO-RAN PROGRAM IN THE MIDDLE OF FLYOVER COUNTRY THAT HASN’T WON A NATIONAL TITLE SINCE 1939.]

Utah vs. Northern Illinois, 7:30pm, ESPNN: Northern Illinois. [FDR WAS PRESIDENT THE LAST TIME TEXAS A&M WON A NATIONAL TITLE. FDR! FLORIDA STATE WASN’T CO-ED OR PLAYING FOOTBALL YET. BOBBY BOWDEN WAS NINE YEARS OLD. THE POPULATION OF AMERICA WAS ONE-THIRD OF WHAT IT IS TODAY. NICK SABAN HAD ONLY WON FOUR TITLES BY THEN.]

Kentucky vs. No. 25 Florida, 7:30pm, SECN: Kentucky. [BEAR BRYANT LEFT KENTUCKY FOR A&M, THEN LEFT A&M AFTER THREE YEARS FOR ALABAMA. EVEN THE GREATEST COACH OF ALL-TIME COULDN’T WIN AT THAT CRAPHOLE.]

No. 13 Penn State vs. Pitt, 8pm, ABC: Pitt. [A&M WAS SO IRRELEVANT THEY WON THE BIG 12 ONCE IN 16 YEARS. ONE CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP IN ALMOST TWO DECADES. HELL, EVEN BAYLOR AND KANSAS STATE WON THE BIG 12 TWICE. COLORADO WON IT ONCE AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY DON’T EVEN PLAY FOOTBALL ANYMORE.]

No. 17 USC vs. No. 10 Stanford, 8:30pm, FOX: USC. [TEXAS A&M HAS ONLY FINISHED A SEASON RANKED IN THE AP POLL 26 TIMES. THEY’VE ONLY WON 17 BOWL GAMES ALL-TIME. THEY’VE BEEN PLAYING FOOTBALL SINCE 1894. THAT’S A LEVEL OF INEPTITUDE I CAN’T EVEN COMPREHEND.]

UConn vs. No. 20 Boise State, 10:15pm, ESPNU: UConn. [JIMBO QUIT ON FSU. HE QUIT RECRUITING AND HE QUIT COACHING. OUR OFFENSIVE LINE IS LIVING PROOF AS TO JUST HOW FAR HE WENT TO STOP COACHING AND RECRUITING. FSU LOST TO BOSTON COLLEGE BY 32 POINTS AND A MONTH LATER HE WAS GONE.]

Cal at BYU, 10:15pm, ESPN2: Cal. [I HOPE DABO RUNS THE SCORE UP AND AGGIE FANS LEAVE IN THE THIRD QUARTER, ELEPHANT WALK IN TOW, DEFLATED AND DEMORALIZED.]

No. 15 Michigan State vs. Arizona State, 10:45pm, ESPN: Arizona State. [ENJOY YOUR TREELESS LANDSCAPE AND SOVIET-ERA CAMPUS ARCHITECTURE AND YOUR AWKWARD SWAY AND YOUR DUMBASS BOOTS AND YOUR WEIRD MILKMEN-LOOKING CHEERYELLERS AND YOUR FAKE TROPHY AND YOUR LACKLUSTER EXISTENCE IN THE SEC WEST. HOPE THE MONEY WAS WORTH BEING SABAN’S CONSULTANT IN THREE YEARS, JIMBO.]