Louisville hate guide: Almost too easy

I’m not making this up. When searching for images to accompany this piece, I typed in Bobby Petrino, and our publishing software corrected it to Bobby Paterno. I did it again, and it was changed to Booby Petrino. Every now and then, you just tip your cap and say well done, autocorrect. And that was before I typed the name Rick Pitino.

From 2014-2017, both Bobby Petrino and Rick Pitino were head coaches at the University of Louisville. I’m assuming they lived on the same street and that their houses bookended that of Pennywise the Dancing Clown. And in that scenario, my heart goes out to Pennywise.

Listen, I actually began writing this piece by outlining the despicable offenses committed by both Petrino and Pitino, but then I just quit. You can look those up on your own, and they would have soured this series, which is supposed to be a fun look at FSU’s weekly opponents. Just know adultery and hush-money and lying— and that applies to both of these winners. They suck, and someone at UL thought it was a good idea to have them heading up its premier sports programs at the same time.

Gross.

Which brings us to Papa John’s. The Cardinals’ football stadium was formerly named for this circular piece of garbage, and its pies are just as distasteful. Having white supremacists make your pizza their official ’za really leaves a bad taste in your mouth. And that’s before you’re even accepted the drunken dare to take a bite. Again, Google this if you’ve been having a nice day and need your mood lowered a few notches.

Oh and stop being so particular about how you want the name of your city pronounced. Your namesake is a French monarch— so how about we just revert back to the French pronunciation? Anyway, you don’t get to be that picky and then just truncate your town to “The Ville,” thereby eliminating saying the first part altogether.

However you say it, it sounds way too much like Loserville for this to honestly be the hand sign you’re going with.

Mark Zerof-USA TODAY Sports