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For the four straight year now, Florida State Seminoles football has managed to lose its season opening game. Not only has this sent their season outcomes sideways, but more importantly, it has rendered our beloved rooting guide mostly useless.
This rooting guide is far more fun when FSU is competitive and the outcomes are meaningful, but alas, its been a while since college football has been fun for Seminole faithful.
At least FSU could manage to put up two touchdowns in week one against one of the worst teams in the confer—ahhh never mind.
Well at least FSU’s head coach will be on the sideline to coach his first game against Mia—oh wait, nope.
Like the rooting guide, we are incapable of having nice things in 2020, so we are left to hate-watch rivals and root for chaos. Speaking of rivals and chaos, this week we have a slightly fuller schedule thanks to the SEC joining the fold. Welcome, SEC. It’s nice to see you attempting to play football again. I mean, you clearly don’t care about football nearly as much as the mighty ACC or Big 12. I guess it just means more to us.
All games are listed by conference (they’re almost all conference games, thanks again 2020!), with kickoff times listed in EST.
#FMFFM eternally.
American
No. 13 UCF Knights at East Carolina Pirates, 12pm, ABC: ECU. UCF is ranked and we’re all beyond sick of their shenanigans at this point.
No. 22 Army Black Knights at No. 14 Cincinnati Bearcats, 3:30pm, ESPN: Cincinnati. In 2020, where Army-Cincinnati is a battle of ranked opponents, it behooves FSU to have the opportunity to theoretically catch Army, ranked eight spots lower than Cincinnati.
ACC
No. 24 Louisville Cardinals at No. 21 Pitt Panthers, 12pm, ACCN: Push. FSU plays both of these teams, and they’re both ranked. Either loss would benefit FSU at this stage.
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets at Syracuse Orange, 12pm, ESPN3: Georgia Tech. FSU could use some assistance in justifying that week one loss to GT, and the ‘Noles won’t play Syracuse this year.
Duke Blue Devils at Virginia Cavaliers, 4pm, ACCN: Push. Like UL vs. Putt, FSU plays both of these teams, so the outcome one way or another won’t impact FSU at this point in the season.
NC State Wolfpack at No. 20 Virginia Tech Hokies, 8pm, ACCN: NC State. Virginia Tech is ranked, and FSU does not play them this year. The ‘Noles will get NC State in a few weeks.
Big 12
Kansas State Wildcats at No. 3 Oklahoma Sooners, 12pm, FOX: Kansas State. The Wildcats lost to Arkansas State to open the season, so I wouldn’t expect too much from K-State. The nation will get its first look at Oklahoma, since their opening game against Missouri State was solely pay-per-view.
No. 8 Texas Longhorns at Texas Tech Red Raiders, 3:30pm, FOX: Texas Tech. This early in the season, there’s no reason not to root for chaos. Texas, the Miami of the Midwest, likes to announce itself being “back” quite frequently (remember that seasoning-opening win against Notre Dame in 2016?), so it would be very on-brand for the Longhorns to stumble against a Red Raiders team that nearly lost to FCS Houston Baptist in week one.
West Virginia Mountaineers at No. 15 Oklahoma State Cowboys, 3:30pm, ABC: West Virginia. The Cowboys had to rally late to beat Tulsa at home last week, so the Mountaineers might be a bit of a challenge for a man who’s now 53.
SEC
No. 5 Florida Gators at Ole Miss Rebels, 12pm, ESPN: Ole Miss. This is an obvious pick. Seems a little odd that Ole Miss has been unable to sell the entirety of its 16,000 seat allotment for the opening game of the Lane Kiffin regime in Oxford.
No. 23 Kentucky Wildcats at No. 8 Auburn Tigers, 12p, SECN: Kentucky. The name of the game in the SEC is ensuring Florida does not win the East. Kentucky could be an important roadblock in that endeavor, and they would be buoyed by pulling off this upset on the Plains.
Mississippi State Bulldogs at No. 6 LSU Tigers, 3:30pm, CBS: Mississippi State. Why not? We haven’t seen a LSU loss in quite a while.
No. 4 Georgia Bulldogs at Arkansas Razorbacks, 4pm, SECN: Georgia. UGA, still the favorite to win the East, must do so, or the collective 2020 suffering of FSU’s fanbase will intensify by the power of 1000. A loss to Arkansas would do nothing but open the door to UF. No thanks.
No. 2 Alabama Crimson Tide at Missouri Tigers, 7pm, ESPN: Missour-ah. I can’t imagine this upset even being feasible, but its fun to talk about.
Vanderbilt Commodores at No. 10 Texas A&M Aggies, 7:30pm, SECN Alt: Vandy. Look at ol’ Jimbo, somehow pulling in over $1M per win and landing a top 10 ranking, but still incapable of elevating himself off the SEC Network Alternate broadcast.
No. 16 Tennessee Volunteers at South Carolina Gamecocks, 7:30pm, SECN: South Carolina. We’ll need Tennessee down the road, but it seems very on-brand for the Vols to be a trendy preseason pick only to stumble out the gate against the unranked Gamecocks. At least Jeremy Pruitt is now making almost as much as the standard Bama analyst.