Hello and welcome to week two of in-depth, hard-hitting, lazy browsing of box scores with a hint of game-watching. If you’re new here, each week we’ll update you on the most recent results of Florida State’s 2023 scheduled opponents. Without further delay, let’s get lazy.
LSU beats the heck out of Grambling, 72-10.
LSU coach Brian Kelly was prophetic with his prediction, it just came a week later than expected.
LSU Tigers: 1-1
Southern Miss gets hurdled by the Seminoles, 66-13.
Southern Miss Golden Eagles: 1-1
Boston College overcomes the longest final two minutes to defeat Holy Cross, 31-28.
With fewer than two minutes remaining and Holy Cross driving, a lightning delay occurred. Two hours later, the game finally restarted, and the Crusaders promptly fumbled the game away.
Clemson corrects early Clemsoning in beat down of Charleston Southern, 66-17.
This game was close going into halftime with the Tigers leading 24-17… then the second half happened. Clemson scored 42 unanswered in the Tigers’ first win of the season.
Clemson Tigers: 1-1
Virginia Tech waits five hours just to lose to the Purdue Boilermakers, 24-17.
In a theme this past week, a rain/storm delay struck the game in the first quarter. The game resumed nearly five and a half hours later. Tech responded with a 17 point second quarter, but laid a goose egg in the second half.
Virginia Tech Hokies: 1-1
Syracuse allows an early score before coasting to easy win over Western Michigan, 48-7.
The Orange allowed a 75 yard touchdown run on the opening possession before shutting down the mighty Broncos. Syracuse would go on a run of their own, a 48-0 run.
Syracuse Orange: 2-0
Duke nearly perfect in 42-7 win over Lafayette.
Dunkin’ Duke quarterback Riley Leonard was a perfect 12/12 on the day while his backup Henry Belin was 8/8. But the mysterious “Team” was 0/1 to ruin a perfect passing day. The Blue Devils held Lafayette to a paltry 87 passing yards.
Duke Blue Devils: 2-0
Wake Forest outlasts the Vanderbilt Commodores 36-20.
Mitch Griffis is the reincarnation of Sam Hartman, who is the reincarnation of Riley Skinner who is…
Too little, too late for Pitt as they fall to Cincinnati 27-21.
After falling behind 27-7 through three quarters, the Panthers scored 14 in the fourth, but fell short. Phil Jurkovec had a scorching 10/32 passing day in the loss.
Pittsburgh Panthers: 1-1
Miami (FL) surges past Jim Bob’s Aggies 48-33
Tyler Van Dimes and a legion of freshmen (allegedly) lead the Hurricanes over an offense that FSU fans are all too familiar with. The U is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miami Hurricanes: 2-0
North Alabama falls to… (checks notes)… Tarleton State? 52-31.
The Tarleton Texans are new to Division I football as of the 2020-2021 season. They’re members of the United Athletic Conference which is a combination of the WAC and ASUN. They also beat North Alabama this past week.
North Alabama Lions: 1-2
Florida takes out its frustration on McNeese, ends four game losing streak, 49-7.
No, not a four game losing streak to McNeese, that would be humorous. Saturday’s win marks Florida’s first win since November 12th of last year. You may recall that matchup where Florida crushed a ranked South Carolina Gamecocks team before the following week’s loss to Vandy.
Florida Gators: 1-1